Sunday, December 30, 2007


It's just not fair. Why do I have to make a choice? Why is it so complicated? And why does it involve your family? It should be my choice. I shouldn't have to pretend to be something I'm not just because they would be devastated or hurt. Why do I have to choose?

Do straight people even realize how hard it is for us just to be us? The pain, the anguish, the suffering we go through? Yearning for someone to hug, to hold hands with? Spending our teenage years in anguish thinking that we are wrong in feeling like this?

Why did God have to make us this way? Why do we have to fight to be accepted? Who the fuck is affected by what we do in our bedroom?

You can berate your wife all day, be lecherous and rape your children, but heaven forbid, YOU SHOULDN'T be GAY !!!!!

Doesn't God see all this? Then why are we made this way? What did we do wrong? What fucking bad thing or bad karma do we have that we have to spend a major portion of our supposed "Happiest time" of our life in anguish and self doubt? Why?
Why? I don't think I can possible understand.

If we had to be like this, why did it have to be such a homophobic world? Why do we have to fight to get same rights as "normal" people? Who the fuck defines "Normal"?


Mike said...

I don't think I've experienced a lot of this because I'm not out, but just having to hide everything makes it hard.

Anwesha said...

Yes, I've felt all that and more, but I not very unlike you, considered that my burdens aren't as heavy as of many who have real troubles, and I preferred to dump myself in my work, disciplining myself to a rigorous daily routine.