I was going through various blogs on the internet and found out that there are a lot of other people that are going through the same as me. And a lot of them have done something which I never have. Thought about it all the time but never have. Coming out. Never. To anyone. No one on planet earth knows that I'm gay. I was even reluctant to write that in my blog initially but since this is supposed to be my confessional, I'd like to go ahead and say it. Okay. Here goes. I'M GAY.
Wow. It feels good. I have at least written it down somewhere. I'm Gay. Really. It feels good to say it somewhere. To be really myself in front of someone. It fees good to get it out after more than two decades of existence.
And among other things:
(a) I have never had a Gay relationship
(b) Never talked about it with anyone
(c) None of my friends know or suspect
(d) Can't talk about this with anyone I know
(e) Never even had sex with a girl
(f) A few years ago, I had two intimate moments (can't call it sex) with a good friend (who is now STRAIGHT and in another country)
So I've been in relationships, but with women. I've like them, maybe loved them but I have never LOVED them. I've had gay crushes but I have never acted upon it.
I currently have this huge crush (almost 3 years) on a friend with whom I have now become a distant acquaintance. I am trying to get over him. It is unlikely that I will come out to the people I know because mostly no one will understand it and I might lose most of my friends.
Hopefully one day I can be free and tell the world, until then this secret would remain with me and now on this blog. But it's good to finally get it out. Thank you WWW.