Conversations ... pt 1

Random conversations ....

..... with Gavin ... a year and a half ago ...

Gavin: We have such a good level of understanding, if either of us were a woman, we could've been a couple ....
Me: I know.

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with John .... last week ...

Me: you're so fucked up .....always looking out for women ...
John: And you're not?
Me: No dude. I ain't lookin for a woman.
John: Are you gay?
Me: Maybe
John: Then, stay away from me ....
Me: Dude .... Even if I am, you're not my type. I'm way out of your league ...
John: Whatever, what's the plan for tonight?

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with Dad ..... last year .......

Me: This author is gay .......
Dad: So? I think that's his private matter. If he is, good. If he isn't, good.
Me: Uhh-Oh ...ok ........

Inner voice1: Tell him, tell him right now .....
Inner voice2: No, we're not gay .....
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with work colleague 1 (wc1).... last year .....

wc1: That guy is such an asshole......
me: I know .....
wc1: He's a mofo ... u know he's .....gay ....
me: No, he's not .....just cause you hate him does not give you the right to use gay as an adjective ..
wc1: B..but....
me: Stop being such a bigot .....
wc1: B...but ...uh..h...
me: He's no gay ... he's just the biggest piece of trash walking on God's Green earth ......
wc1: B..but......ahem ....
me: And if you need more expletives or insulting descriptions use Google or let me train you but stop being a jackass and stop calling everyone you hate gay ....
wc1: Okay ..... Fine ...
me: And that shirt is really Gay .....

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with Gavin ...... a few years ago .......

Gavin: ... A guy from work is gay ......
Me: hmmmmm .. So?
Gavin: He was talking to me the other day, and he put his hand on my knee and I got so scared ...
Me: Bro, he's gay ..... He's not Godzilla, he ain't gonna eat you up ....
Gavin: No .... but .... he's g-a-y ..... and so effeminate ...
Me: Stop being such an idiot .... Not all gay people are effeminate and vice versa ....
Gavin: Dunno ...
Me: Chill. Maybe he's just being friendly, ...... stop being such a wuss ....

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on yahoo messenger ....... two years ago .....

pm in Gay chatroom ... for the first time ....

me: Hi
og: Top or bottom?
Me: WHaT?
og: Are you a top or bottom?

inner voice: what is this fuck talkin about? ....
close window ...

another pm ....

ag: Hi....tp or btm?
me: what?
ag: Are you a top or bottom?
me: wtf?

inner voice: google it u jackass ......
ok .... wait ... first few results are something about unix ..... no wait something in wikipedia .....top in bdsm ..... wtf is bdsm .... Jesus frigin Christ!! ...No!!... i told you .. being gay is not my thing ... geez .... let's get back into the closet and stay there ......quit gay chat.....quit yahoo messenger ...

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*gavin - Best friend from uni
#john - Best friend from school
** we now DO know the proper meaning of top and bottom .. thanks for the interest though ...
and wc1 is so in denial .... lol!!