So when I got up in the morning today, I had this nagging feeling that I need to do something crazy. So I thought let me get my hair streaked. I know. So 1994. And before you start thinking that this is a what would Britney Spears do? kind off moment let me tell you that's not it.
So I made an appointment with my barber in the evening, and went back to sleep. I know what you're thinking. Does this guy ever do anything productive? By the time I woke up, the nagging feeling had decreased. My mind had taken over and in it's rational wisdom (which you doubt by now) decided to tone down the crazy. Anyway I was fashionably late by only 45 mins. So my barber mentioned that in passing which made me mentally cut his tip by 25%. So John Edwards. I know.
I asked for a new, crazy bold look, and he ended up giving me an emo look. And I thought to myself "AM I participating in American idol?" Surprisingly, the answer to that was no. So we changed the style again. I wanted the look to say "'MO" not emo. So the barber lost another 15% of his tip. So after a harrowing few hours, we finally achieved something that kinda suits me and also says "Well, You Know, I would like to kiss boys" in a subtle, serene way. After that the barber really praised my eclectic taste. Even though that was fake I actually enjoyed it. (My own personal Monica Geller moment)
I ended up giving him 74.8697% more than his usual tip. So Barack Obama. I know.
Now the purpose of this as-confusing-as-a-Fred-Thomson-speech monologue for an as-insignificant-as-Ralph-Nader-event is that after a long time, I am actually felling like myself again. My self-loathing, anti-social, cynical, skeptical, suffering from a superiority complex, bitchy, under the false impression that I am funny, self. Woo Hoo. Risen from the ashes like Hillary Phoenix Clinton. Thank you, medical marijuana. I hope it lasts more than a day at least.
So, my current state of mind is best described by the following quote from Jerry Seinfeld:
I learned something. Letting my emotions out was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sure, I'm not funny anymore. There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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Important Disclaimer:
The above blog entry is not approved by any presidential candidate. It is also not an endorsement of any. Except maybe the Democrats.
Any likeness in craziness to Mike Hukabee is merely coincidental in nature and not entirely intended.
Also, the suggestion that any medical substance was used during the writing of this entry is merely metaphorical.
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