The answer to that oft asked question which no one has asked me yet. But in case they do, I am ready with the answers.
Top Ten Answers to the question: Why are you Gay?
10. I love using the word "fabulous".
9. Giving something to the Hip-Hop community something to rap about since they are so drained for material.
8. I am the love child of Ann Coulter and Bill O Reily.
7. I wanted to completely annihilate the sacred and sacrosanct institution of marriage.
6. You mean to tell me that when you see Ryan Carnes, you feel nothing?
5. To play a drinking game. Every time someone from the religious right (from any country) says that gays are going to rot in hell, I do a shot of Baileys with err..eh..umm.. Diet Coke.
4. Just taking the phrase "Happy and Gay" too seriously.
3. I really enjoy being the punchline for Larry Craig & Ted Haggard jokes. It's fabulous.
2. I woke up one day and thought to myself, "Hmmm, what can I do to get the whole world against me starting from an early age?".
1. Shit happens. Get over it.
(a) This is all meant in good humor. Any reader who interprets it the other way will be likened to Mike Hukabee.
(b) Yes. I was dropped as a child.