I can't think of a title for every post
9:57 AM | Author: Rambunctious WhipperSnapper
So one of my neighbors is getting married. His funeral marriage procession is just passing by. The band is playing some irritating hindi song which I have drowned out with some hip-hop. I'm practical like that, sometimes.

I don't know why but this suddenly reminded me of the time when I wanted a traditional wedding. That was very long ago, much before I had discovered my inner Satan and dispensed with any and all traditional garbage.

I actually felt bad for my parents. Which in itself is new. They would never have this whole big-traditional-wedding with cute-invitations and multiple-cuisines as far as I'm concerned. Not that they would be surprised. I am anyways a big disappointment and have never made them happy, really. Except that February in 2002 when I suddenly got good grades for the first and last time. No, I hadn't studied, the person sitting next to me was really easy to bribe.

I wonder why suddenly I am concerned with other's happiness? It's quite a strange and unusual feeling. I think it was the vegetarian food I had for lunch. Vegetarian food makes you think. Note to self: Please stick to destroying the ecological balance. Nothing is more noble, really. Dumb green vegetables. Gimme a steak anyday.

When I was younger, I thought I'd have India's first traditional gay wedding. Be the first to send out those groom weds groom cards. But then some stupid lesbian couple beat me to it. Sheesh. Women. They just have to do everything first, init? I mean you got multiple orgasms, let us have something for crying out loud.

Anyways, realistically, if I actually have a wedding, (which I doubt because nobody really likes me), it'll probably be in some first world country which has gay rights and all, with three or four people as witnesses and some kooky old judge pronouncing us as "Partner & Partner". And then we'll head to a dinner for eight at some overpriced restaurant. I mean where's the romance in that? Stupid homophobic straight people.
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26 Voices heard in WhipperSnapperville:

On July 29, 2008 at 11:01 AM , DewdropDream said...

Awwwww... why so serious? Go and eat all the steak you can find and then come back all cheerful :)
And what are you talking about being disappointing and all?? You've figured what makes you happy and what you want to some extent, how many people can lay claim to the same thing? Chin up!

And don't go muttering to yourself about non-weddings... I'm not homophobic, name the date and place and I shall be there promptly as your wedding witness :D You shall have exactly the wedding you want... but first things first, where's the groom??? Shall we go guy-hunting??? :D

 
On July 29, 2008 at 11:46 AM , A rebel all the way... said...

but I like you noooo....you are sweet, intelligent, extremely witty and write realllllly well...and am not kidding....
but first DO as i told you to do... x-(

 
On July 29, 2008 at 12:00 PM , D said...

Thank you for the compliments. I acknowledge them on behalf of all the smart women of the world :)

 
On July 29, 2008 at 12:03 PM , Swats said...

heyyy don't forget me 2 send me an invite..
3-4 witnesses--make tht 4-5 :-)

 
On July 29, 2008 at 12:33 PM , The Line of Beauty said...

This post reminded me of something. Have you seen the Spanish movie ' Queens'? It was coming regularly on world movies channel from UTV. It's story about first gay marriage- that too in a mass wedding ceremony- in spain, after it was legalized in the country. The movie is full of quirks, and Spain being a staunchly catholic country, you can imagine the tremors felt around the event.

Well, after I saw that movie, I did want a wedding for myself.
End of dream: But as I keep telling people who bug me about marriage, " where is the bride?"
in your case. " where is the partner?"..
till the time you don't have partner, wedding can wait.

 
On July 29, 2008 at 1:56 PM , Anonymous said...

I think you write really well. Your style is so engaging. really good. Except, you can keep the pieces slightly shorter. Prose is a lot like a skirt - the shorter the better! But considering you are gay (unlike me whos bi), well, you OBVIOUSLY don't get it!

 
On July 29, 2008 at 1:57 PM , Kris Bass said...

For once, I think I can beat all of you to that. I plan to get married as soon as I make it across to the USA.

:)

And I'll help you with hunting if you want to...

 
On July 29, 2008 at 2:10 PM , Kris Bass said...

I disagree to 'anonymous'. And my analogy is well... 'the longer, the better'!

;)

 
On July 29, 2008 at 9:17 PM , pepe M. said...

why a simple mundane entry like this is such a BIG HIT!!!

darn, im falling inlove with you man :)

 
On July 30, 2008 at 1:10 AM , unsungpsalm said...

Oh, but I adore the title of this post!

So you're getting married, huh? Good good! I'm invited, of course.

Whose your Best Bitch?

 
On July 30, 2008 at 10:08 AM , chandni said...

did i hear u say no one likes u?

go away, I am not talking to you

 
On July 30, 2008 at 3:23 PM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

ddd: awww ... nothing cheers you up like steak .... had a few :P ... the groom is out there somewhere looking for me i think .. :P .. oh, yes please ... since ure in london, you can find someone who likes chubby dudes like me!! .. :P ... hehe .. and of course u'll be invited ... u even need to ask?? ... :D ...

rebel: don't look at me like that .. i get scared easy .. :P ...

d: You're welcome .. :P ...

swats: ok, ure added to the list than .. :P ...hehe ...

lob: well, a guy can hope, can't he .. :P ... though i'm not that eager to get married or anything .... but i'd like to have the choice ...

anon: thanks ..... no i really don't get it? why do girls wear short skirts anyway?? *clueless*

kriss bass: you lucky .... i need all the help i can get .... yeah, the longer the better .. :P ...

pepe: awww .. thanks .. too bad ur committed otherwise i wud have been on the first flight with a one way ticket to pepe-land ... :) ... sigh ...

usp: Ok, where are your reading glasses? NO ONE is getting married. Oh yes, u'll be invited. I like the title too. I plan to use it for a lot of posts. I'm lazy like that, sometimes.

chandu baba: i meant no GUYS like me .... now don't be angry with us ... :'( .. :'( ...of course i didn't mean you .... also, u don't like us .. you love us ... so there ...

 
On July 30, 2008 at 6:03 PM , closetalk said...

marriage?
ulp!
:)

 
On July 30, 2008 at 6:47 PM , unsungpsalm said...

*Ramby
While you're at it, can you ditch the whole "I'm [blah] like that sometimes " bit? I don't know if anyone told you but it's really lame!







Okay, I'm kidding.







But don't use it all the time!

 
On July 30, 2008 at 7:00 PM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

ct: just a thought ... :P ...

usp: I'm lame like that, sometimes. Dammit!!! Too much of good thing, eh??

*still in denial*

 
On July 31, 2008 at 9:33 PM , bloggingknight said...

who says no one likes you?
Stop playing thoughts in your head. :)

And hmm.. am i too gonna get the card? (if not, grrhhh)

 
On August 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM , lemonade said...

I totally share your views on food...steak at 3 in the morning..BRING IT ON!

California has already embraced gay marriage, so the rest of the US isn't far behind..but you're right, India a light years away from there..

 
On August 1, 2008 at 3:53 AM , DewdropDream said...

Okay, I'm hijacking your "I'm *insert word* like that sometimes" line.

We could do the Scrubs thing!!! People are getting annoyed coz you're overdoing that, but now they won't coz you won't say it, I will say it for you every now and then!!! :D How does that sound?

 
On August 1, 2008 at 9:03 AM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

dk: ..of course you're invited ... spl guest from nepal ...

lemonade: yeah ... anytime any day baby!! like homer simpson says .. mmmm steak ..hehe ...
and I think India will have gay marriage only when rahul gandhi's grandson is PM .... not that i want to get married, but i would like to have the choice ...

ddd: awww ...first a big hug for being so sweet .. second, brilliant idea .... i'd love that .... :P ...

 
On August 1, 2008 at 9:07 AM , DewdropDream said...

Yeah I'm brilliant and sweet like that, sometimes :P ;)

 
On August 1, 2008 at 9:16 AM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

ddd: *high five* .. :P ...

 
On August 2, 2008 at 11:59 AM , palominoblues said...

i live in england. one of my best gay mate is engaged to be married! or have a 'civil partnership' ceremony soon! so wil tel u how it goes! they are celebrating in posh hotels and in pomp, ceremony and style! can't wait=)

 
On August 4, 2008 at 4:13 AM , DewdropDream said...

Update you feller!!! You do not leave readers hanging for a whole week like this!!

 
On August 5, 2008 at 11:08 AM , The Line of Beauty said...

All well?

Wanted to ask you why your comments have been removed/ deleted from eM's and Jabborwock's blog??

 
On August 5, 2008 at 7:11 PM , unsungpsalm said...

Too




much




silence.

 
On August 6, 2008 at 11:09 AM , unsungpsalm said...

Ramby, where ARE you? Is everything all right? Getting a bit worried...