Friday, December 5, 2008

One by one I see the old ghosts rising . . .

Today is truly a weird day. I've had this line from the John Fogerty song playing in my head since morning, even though I haven't listened to the song in ages.

Anyways, as I was not feeling like crap after a long time, I was eagerly waiting to start wasting my day, as usual, when I got a call from an former classmate. Dude was standing outside my alma mater and gave me a ring-a-ding for ol' times sake. After the momentous effort it took me in trying to place him, and having what can only be described as a one-sided conversation, wherein he reminisced about the good times we supposedly had and I pretended to remember and made all the right noises, we hung up with the usual empty promises to meet again for a beer. Yeah, sure. That's so gonna happen.

I also got a call from a college friend of mine who told me that the only girl to ever break my heart. Okay. That's a stretch. She obviously didn't break it. She just took it out of my body, made a little smoothie out of it, added a sprinkle of nuts and chocolate, drank it in one gulp and then came running back for seconds. As I said, nothing dramatic. You know I hate being dramatic. Okay. She is getting married to her boyfriend of seven years who was once caught cheating on her, screwing another girl in the powder room . Classy, I know. It was a total if-that-doesn't-keep-kids-in-school-then-what-will kind of moment.

Although, I'm glad she did what she did to me. It helped me grow and fine myself.

Who am I kidding, I would have found myself anyway.

I'm was gay as Tom Cruise in that scene from Risky Business.

(Which begs the question, whatever happened to Tom Cruise? When did he turn into this crazy psychopath who keeps babbling about some crazy religion which has totally untrue and unreal notions about life. I thought that's what the Pope was supposed to do? I'm confused now.)

Alright, I'm digressing. Now, she also made me read her diary. And though I'm not the one to read and tell, she was once in love with her cousin.

Yes, her cousin.

Who she made out with.

On TWO separate occasions.

And that's not even the worst part.

That boy was ugly as hell. He looked like a pre-pubescent Joe Pesci.

Okay. Let's all calm down. No harm, no foul.

I'm just glad that all of us have moved on and bear no ill will towards each other.

I hope her fiance loses all his hair before he's thirty. Serves her right, the little shit.

Hey, she's the one who kissed a blood relative and is marrying the cheater. What are you judging me for?

Okay. Focus. Moving on, as I was trying to read my book, which coincidentally is also called The Ghost, picking up from where I left off the day before, suddenly my phone rings again. It's a very familiar phone number. A number from which I have received more than a thousand calls and messages over the past few years. Most of which have gone unanswered. No, not trying to be rude or anything, but that's what you do to a former stalker. No, I don't think she's crazy. Of course not.Are you kidding me? She's just stark raving mad. A absolute lunatic.

So I was shaken a little bit, but still determined to do at least one constructive thing in the whole day, I tried to distract myself by trying to concentrate on some good food. But before I sat down to eat a scrumptious meal, I remembered that I had an important email I was supposed to send. So, in the spirit of a post-procrastination existence, I logged into my email account and was preparing to send that email.

Lo and behold!! Who do I see signed into chat for the first time in four years? Yes, the chat status of he-who-shall-not-be-named, was set to "available".

I stared at the screen in disbelief and horror for a few minutes. I tried to come up with a plan of action. There was a tug-of-war taking place inside me. The self-hating-glutton-for-punishment part of me wanted to try to say something to him. The sober part of me (which rarely speaks up) wanted to log off right away. The medicated part of me was wondering how much time remained until the next scheduled dose.

Anyways, as a truce, I opened the chat window, typed "Dude ...", waited forty seconds for a reply that didn't come and then immediately logged off. I don't know if I suddenly turned into a 17 year old or that upping you dosage without consulting a medical practitioner is harmful, but right now, I can't feel my legs and my hands are still shaking.


Seriously, it's like Deja Vu all over again.


Okay. I know some of you may feel sympathy for the other people mentioned above. But remember, you don't know them. You know me. So, take my side when the lawyers call.

Capiche?

22 comments:

bloggingknight said...

What goes around comes around. Now i gotta believe it :P
And you proved, you might be fat-old boy but your heart is still same 19 year old :D

Kris Bass said...

Was that me? I hope not!

....

No way, it wasn't me!

Prash said...

what is a POWDER ROOM ?

I never wanted to judge anybody here. Even if I want to, i can't judge your ex-gf ... as I am one of those sinners who slept with cousins ! (not just one, 4 of them)...ok, no more secrets, they are all boys and we are all teenagers ... can we call that "sex" ? I don;'t know... according to my cousins (who all got married and became ugly and have kids now btw) that is not sex and that is just male to male body fun... what a nice concept ... I told a friend of mine in India and he used this line to sleep with straight boys after a bottle of alcohol and every time he succeeded. No kidding ! Serious !

unsungpsalm said...

Oh my god, Ramby Ramby Ramby Ramby!!

WHAT am I to say?
Geez... BIG moment. WEIRD moment.

I'm not helping, are I?





YOU WENT OUT WITH A GIRL???
[<13 year old's tone] Ewww!! [/tone]

She sounds nice though :P

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Ghosts, sketetons and witches. Quite a belated Halloween revival party you're having there, Ramby!!

What next, wizards, warlocks and vampires?

Just call me 'A' said...

the chat ghost was the bestest narrative.....
:)

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@dk: haha .. yeah .. i kinda agree with you ... and did you just cal me OLD??? Didja????

@dr duh: Huh?? I think you're still suffering from exam fatigue .... You're right, it's NOT you .... whatever gave you the idea??

@prash: haha ... no even i don't like to judge people ..... you are no sinner my friend ... a lot of straight boys do that ... especially when their hormones are raging ... :P ...

powder room is how the ladies room was referred to in the 1800's.

@usp: Ok, I get it .... I deserve that .... and, fyi, I NEVER WENT OUT WITH HER .... oh and she's lovely .... you'd love her ...

@mamma mia: You're right ... but this is actually scary .... brrrrrrr ..... i hope the are no wizards, warlocks or vampires in the future ... unless it's a gay costume party ...

@A: thanks ....

Prash said...

i guessed it (cf: powder room)... but wasn't sure ! thks !

ya ya ya... these straight men ... a friend of mine always says : "the difference between a straight and a gay man is - a bottle of beer"

Neha said...

I always take ur side Rambo! Taking ur side is like taking my own side :P

You seem to have quite a colorful past! But whoa...A GIRL broke ur heart?? Really? Wow..

Go for the chat-ghost!!!
And Keep writing!

Just call me 'A' said...

hey Snapper, have i told you that i love reading your blog? well i'm telling you now and keep your speech ready for I have an award for you.......YEAHHHHHH CHEERS. hop over to my blog to get it :D.

A

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@prash: haha .. that's so true ..... :P .. in some cases even half a bottle of beer will do!!!

@neha: I know I can always count on you! Well, she did betray me .... in a total non-sexual way .... The chat ghost was so wrong for me .. took me a long time to get over him .... :) ... plus whr do you go for such long periods of time? Are you supergirl?

@A: Thank you .. thank you ... I'll just hop over to your blog ... err.. well, on second thought, it'll have to be a walk .. hopping is too much exercise ....

Orange said...

Pray explain how your name for my blog makes any sense?

unsungpsalm said...

*Orange
It makes perfect sense.

In Ramby world.

Crazy Ramby World.




Crazy Crazy World.

Prash said...

when you talk about half of a bottle...and all that, = is it experience which talks here ? lol

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@Orange: Since it has been established that you are the brown David Archuleta, the name makes perfect sense.

@usp: Not trying to be rude, but calling me crazy would have been more believable had it not come for you. And Crazy Ramby World is a good name for a future theme park.

@prash: I love to kiss and tell .. but unfortunatey, I haven't kissed so I can't tell you anything ... :( ...

unsungpsalm said...

Future theme park??!! What sort of a theme park has a thousand kids sitting on comfy plush armchairs watching television all day long?

Oh, I know!

Crazy Ramby World.

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

Yeah ... at least the crazy ramby world helps the kids develop a healthy hobby ...

whereas on the Mr Unsung Confusion Fair ... kids show up and wonder what the others are thinking about them ... :P ... and they all carry tote bags ...

unsungpsalm said...

I don't let people carrying tote bags into Unsung Confusion Fair... Unless they're women.


Or transgendered individuals.

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

Hey, What did Rudy Guilani ever do to you? Why hold that against him?

unsungpsalm said...

Do you have any Indian connection whatsoever?

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

Well I do live here .. at least for the foreseeable future. I think that is a good connection.....

unsungpsalm said...

A good connection? That you use up it's natural resources before moving to another country :P ?
Right-o! Glad to have you here, too! There's some sensible crowd in the 1 billion :)