All that hard work down the drain
2:45 AM | Author: Rambunctious WhipperSnapper
You spend your whole life trying to build a reputation. Then, one wrong move and everything you worked hard for is taken away from you.

My whole life I have worked hard towards achieving certain goals. And one mistake, one stupid, silly mistake and all that is no more.

Ever since I was a kid, I have worked and worked to have my family accept me as a no good neanderthal who cannot be trusted to do a day's hard work and who is constantly on acid or some other substance.

Now, a few months ago I my family asked for my help for something. Now when they ask me to do something, I'm usually the LAST possible person they could turn to. So, I obliged. No, not out of any guilt. That's because guilt is mostly for religious people.

Anyways, before this incident, my family was well programmed to ask me for a favor only every six to eight months. And they didn't even trust me enough to walk the dogs. Not that I am a big fan of walking the dogs. I mean, it involves three of my least favorite things. Walking, dogs and helping out my family.

Now ever since I unselfishly granted them that favor, without even debiting the six monthly account, things have started to change.

Suddenly, my opinion is being sought on something. My opinion. You know how dangerous that can be. Last time someone sought my opinion, there were tears, broken bones and the threat of bloodshed. However, certain members of my family have started treating me like some insider. They act like I am part of this social group.

How rude is that?

Just yesterday, my sister asked me to watch one of my nephews. Me. You know, l thought she knew better.

Years ago, a cousin of mine who was not privy to my reputation had asked me to watch her kid. She belonged to a family which believed in the evil practice of vegetarianism. By the time I was done watching the kid, his favorite breakfast was sausage and he started eating Pepperoni pizza every alternate day. Needless to say, I was never asked to watch anybody else's kids again.

Even though, all I did was give the boy a real taste of freedom,
no one ever asked me to watch their kids again. I wonder why.

Am I not a good role model or something?

Then there's Dad. Who expects me to help out a little with the business. He thinks that it's okay to ask me to help him with my tax return just because he is preoccupied with something urgent. He thinks I have no life.

I don't. But that's not the point. It's the spirit of the thing, really.

And my Mom. Just because I forced her to fire some of the domestic help because I was allergic to their face, she expects me to help around the house. Do impossible things like making my own cup of coffee.

Ha!! Fat chance of that happening!

I simply order out. Hmph.

This is why I used to have that six month rule. All that is in the crapper now.

Although, now when I think about this, maybe this is a good thing.

Now that my family treats me like I belong, it must translate into more money. Maybe a bigger expense account or something?

Look. I'm all about the silver lining in the dark cloud. Cause when life hands you a couple of lemons, you slice them up and add them to your cocktail.

Isn't that what they teach you in business school?
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19 Voices heard in WhipperSnapperville:

On December 11, 2008 at 3:31 AM , D said...

"He thinks I have no life.

I don't. But that's not the point. It's the spirit of the thing, really."

Lol!

This post basically means there's hope yet for you ;)

 
On December 11, 2008 at 4:30 AM , Neha said...

Hahahaha

Oh GAWD get over urself!! Be a good little ( or not so little) boy and be a part of ur family! They're treating u like an insider..that GOOD! Trust me :P!....its when they run after u with stick and stones...or worse MARRIAGE PROPOSALS..that u're in for a mess!! For now, just chill and enjoy the attention.

Keep Writing!

PS: I dont keep disappearing! I'm always here...always have been :)!

 
On December 11, 2008 at 4:46 AM , unsungpsalm said...

OH my GOD Ramby! You really did it this time!! I simply couldn't stop laughing while reading this entry...

I know you don't mean any of it. I'm sure they didn't ask you to help in any way.
It's sheer literary brilliance :D

 
On December 11, 2008 at 5:26 AM , Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Is namby-Ramby-pamby turning into a human? Ooo! Is there a Dr. in the house? Dr. Jeckyl, perhaps?

 
On December 11, 2008 at 8:00 AM , Crazy Sam said...

Whippy, I feel like smooching you really hard! You're just too... irresistible!! Ah!

 
On December 11, 2008 at 8:50 AM , chandni said...

LOL!!!!

U're impossible!!

And I love you for it :)

 
On December 11, 2008 at 9:07 AM , Ritu said...

Ummm, just may be you're growing up and mellowing and they can sense it? Of course you could show them that they are mistaken ....

Enjoy it while it lasts

 
On December 11, 2008 at 10:12 AM , The Line of Beauty said...

like USP, I am sure you made this up..Seriously, it put smile on my face

 
On December 11, 2008 at 12:51 PM , Just call me 'A' said...

when life gives you lemons...ask for Tequila baby :)

Snapper....you are the riot!

now where is the award..you're suppposed to proudly display it and pass on. now don't tell me this is a six month thing.....it's down the drain..remember!

 
On December 11, 2008 at 8:40 PM , closetalk said...

lol! next they'll ask u to donate a kidney or something! :)

yes, whippy, welcome me back. lol.

 
On December 12, 2008 at 1:30 AM , Prash said...

Thank God you are not my son !~ ;-0 LOL

you asked your mom to fire a domesitc helper because you couldn't stand the help's face ! oh boy ! are you "karen" in will & grace ? lol

 
On December 12, 2008 at 9:22 AM , unsungpsalm said...

*Prash
He isn't but he tries to be :P

And don't you go about taking the lord's name in vain!! ;)

 
On December 12, 2008 at 12:23 PM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@D: No .. there is no hope ..... I'm happy as I am ... :P ...

@Neha: Oh, my family would never make the mistake of coming up with marriage proposals. They know better. ...and yes, you keep disappearing and you go around the world to fight crime .... :P ...

@usp: Well, it is what it is. Thanks, anyway.

@mamma mia: Of course not, silly. What makes you come to such a preposterous conclusion?

@Sam: Yipee!! That'd be great sammy!! Can I also cop a feel while you're at it?? :P

@chandni: awwww .. love ya too ... :) ...

@ritu: Me??? Growing up??? Mellowing??? .... Please don't say that. That really scares the bejezes outta me. Still shaking ....

@Lob: Like usp, I can't tell you what to believe. But at least it put a smile on your face and that's all that matters.

@A: Oh yeah, bring on the tequila!! I will ... still working on it ... you know how things are with me ... I work like a five year plan ... :P ...

@ct: oh no, thanks to the economic crisis, we can now import cheap bangladeshi kidneys for $10 a pop. Plus my kidneys are like soaked in alcohol.

And yeah, you're like Hillary Clinton. No one can keep you away for long. :P ...

@Prash: Well, my parents think the opposite everyday. I'm sure they love me and all, but they could have done better. And yeah, I am like this in real life too. This is who I am. :P ...

@USP: One day, when it's raining really hard, we can sit down and have a look at that crystal ball which lets you see what other people are doing all the time .... :) ....

 
On December 12, 2008 at 8:19 PM , unsungpsalm said...

*Ramby
I'm looking at it right now.




I can see what you're doing.



You bad, bad boy!




Now get out of your mamma's dress and get into something more appropriate.

 
On December 13, 2008 at 2:05 AM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

That wasn't from your crystal ball ... that was one of your fantasies .... which unfortunately is never going to come true ....

And let's not forget who pays whom to be a slave ..... check the notarized agreement I made you sign ..... :P

 
On December 13, 2008 at 6:25 AM , unsungpsalm said...

Agreements signed in Crazy Ramby World are only valid within its boundaries.

 
On December 14, 2008 at 1:37 AM , Still thinking said...

Lol!

Oh how I love your life! before the hard work went down the drain that is :D

P.S: I seriously needed this rolling on the floor laughter ;)
Tx dear.

 
On December 15, 2008 at 2:27 AM , Chrisann said...

lol lol lol that is what I should be doing, pretend fucking up...

 
On December 15, 2008 at 5:50 AM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@usp: It's not Vegas. It's a valid legal document upheld in all states and union territories in the territorial boundaries of our country. Except in the Andman & Nicobar Islands. Cause those n****z are crazy!!!

@still: Oh no, my life is not a picnic .. It's more like a family dinner gone bad .... :P .... anyways, I'm glad it made you laugh!!

@Chrisann: yes, that works for me most of the time ....