Sunday, October 26, 2008

California, you little slut, put the weed down for a minute and say NO to proposition 8

Listen up, California. You really want to do this? Stop gay people from getting married? For what reason? To protect your marriage? Really? And can you please tell me again how two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their life together harms your marriage?

Unless, you and your wife are huge closet cases.

Oh, honey, then you don't need a ban on gay marriage, you need a fucking shrink.

Now, let's face it. You actually want to ban gay marriage because you're scared. C'mon. You can tell me. It's because you fear that if those promiscuous fags can make it work and you end up in divorce court and lose everything you own, your self confidence might take a little dip to the south side. Just like John McCain's poll numbers. And then you would be forced to recognize that the only threat to your marriage is YOU and viagra.

Or it's because of that medieval book rumored to be ghost written by God?

See, it's okay to believe in such fairytales. We all need some crap to believe in so that we don't pee in our pants everytime the wind gets a little strong the it seems like you're on the set of Deep Impact. But just because you believe that the earth is flat does not mean that other people have to marinate in the pool of your ignorance.

It's okay to practice your ignorance in the safety of your own home/trailer/make-shift box like structure. Even if it means wearing that magic underwear like those freaky mormons or live a flintstone-themed life like the Amish.

Look, Sparky. Let me level with ya. I don't beleive in marriage either. Straight/Gay/Brangellina. If God wanted human beings to spend all their life with one person, he would have made everybody look ugly. He didn't. Ergo.

Anyway, the fight for gay marriage is not just about being recognized as a couple. It's about having the right to visit your partner who is in coma because of some weird kama sutric position you were trying to spice up your monogamous (ughh) life. Or being able to file joint tax returns to sock it to the man. Ye-ah, baby. Or being able to adopt a child together (God knows why).

It's even legal to get hitched with the guy sticking a pole up your arse in the land of the Queen. You see, the British part their stiff lips to blow each other every now and then. So chill the fuck out and say no to proposition 8.

Otherwise, the terrorists win.

14 comments:

unsungpsalm said...

I have faith in California :)
Hey-Ho! Prop. 8 No!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Man you're funny!! Passionate too. Scary yes, but funny.

Still thinking said...

Lol!
I know it's a serious issue but I still wanna say I just love your humour :)

And no, I wudn't want the terrorists to win.

A rebel all the way... said...

hehe...hilarious...
and great to see you back to your usual self....(i.e. being able to write great!!) :)

DewdropDream said...

You are awesome! And I cannot say it enough!!! Is there some way of getting this into the national papers I wonder...

D said...

Strong emotions there! I would have too if I were in your place.

Rakesh said...

You could be the next Kathy Griffin! I'm sick and tired of campaigning for No on 8. We all need some humor now. May I publicize this blog?

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@usp: Let's hope that happens .. You never know ....

@mamma mia: Well a fire ball may come out of my head everytime I talk but I'm not that scary.

@still thinking: Thanks .... yeah, none of us want the terrorists to win!!

@rebel: thank you ... lets hope this continues??

@ddd: Well, I think this is too much for our national newspapers to publish!! Appreciate the thought thou ... thanks ...

@d: yeah ... There are some things I am passionate about ...

@rakesh: Thanks fot the thought .. I'd rather be the next Bill Maher .. :P ... and yes, please, you can publicize this blog ... and thanks for doing all the work for the campaign against Prop 8 ....

Prash said...

yes hilarious the way you said it...but it ain't any funny thing. I agree !

DewdropDream said...

I rather meant national papers elsewhere... they seem to have no compunction printing swear words. Try the Guardian.

Just call me 'A' said...

hey.

first time here. enjoyed the read. liked the humour behind the issue.

will drop in again

A

the new family-values gay guy :) said...

"that medieval book rumored to be ghost written by God"

L-fucking-O-L!!!!
:)

actually, they think it's the terrorists who wanna legalize gay marriage so all of america will turn faggoty and the darn country will have no one to procreate, so all of america will be populated by - u guessed it - adopted babies from china and india.

Jay said...

But just because you believe that the earth is flat does not mean that other people have to marinate in the pool of your ignorance.

I LOVE that line!

PS: Yeah, I am the same Jay from USP's blog.

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@prash: Yes, I agree. It's a very serious issue. ANd I hope the people of California do the right thing!!

@ddd: okay .. thanks .... Although I feel I'm a little too amateurish for a national newspaper!!

@ a: thanks .. hope to see you around here then ...

@ct: lol!! thanks ... Hope you like your new nickname!!! ..... Well Americans need to get used to it ... In a few years everyone is going to be half Indian or Chinese anyway!!

@jay: thanks ... welcome to whippersnapperville then ... :P ...