Tuesday, March 10, 2009

This post has so much to give that it's almost bursting at the seams

Sometimes one feels so insignificant. You know, somedays you realize that there is so much happening out there. That there is so much more to life than random snarky observations about pop-culture.

A few hours ago, I got the feeling that I am not the center of the universe. Of course, then I come to my senses and realize that it can't be true. Everyone knows that's not even possible. Silly me!!

Sometimes I feel that I am missing out. That I should go out and see the world. Travel or something. But then, if I have to go somewhere I kind of need to pack my whole room and take it with me. I absolutely cannot sleep without my favorite pillow. And I can never decide which books to take along. it's so difficult. It's like choosing between your children. Hell, I think it's tougher. Choosing between children is easy. You choose the one who has the most potential for making money. Ignore the others. Or put those losers up for adoption. I'm sure Angelina Jolie or the Octo-Mom would want them.


Then I feel that I should try to do something for other people.


Yeah, I know. I can't even type that with a straight face.


No, seriously. I feel that I have so much to give, specially free advice. I think that I should join an NGO or something and lobby for political change. Although, when I think about it, I would never know what to wear to such a shindig. I'll be left wondering whether I need to color coordinate? Or do I go with black? Or should go ethnic or try the whole retro reporter look? I can never answer such questions. Dammit. There should be a course for such stuff. Or at least a wikipedia entry.



Then I thought I should teach the illiterate. Try to educate them. Teach them something and make a difference in their lives. However, I nipped this plan in the bud. Cause as I remember from my time in school when we were forced by our goody-two-shoes Headmaster er... lightly persuaded to teach poor children, illiterate people have a tendency to stink. Although I still don't understand why the other volunteers were flabbergasted when I kept using a room freshener during my class.


But then I realized that I already do too much volunteering. For example, I have joined over two groups on facebook which purport to bring like-minded people together so that they can post on each other's wall. What more can one do, really?

So I then thought that I should try to give back to my family. Although I strongly feel that my presence is blessing enough. Still, I thought I would help my Dad or Bro with their business. So I asked them if any of them needed an intelligent and hard working person to come work for them. They said sure and they also told me that if I knew such a person I should introduce him or her to either of them. When I said I was talking about me, there was complete shock, followed by awkward silence while everyone exchanged glances, and then after a break of a few seconds there was loud, uncontrollable, bringing-down-the-roof laughter.

This is what I get for trying to be helpful. And just because last time I went to their office and I mistook one of their managers for the driver and told him to get my car doesn't mean I would do that again. You only make a mistake like that twice.
And in my defense, he was wearing a safari suit. How good a manger would he be?

Anyhoo, of they don't want me, I will take my talents elsewhere. Somewhere I am wanted and appreciated.

There has got to be someone who would pay top dollar/euro/rupee/monopoly money for someone like me. I have so much to give. And so much to share.

I can tell people exactly what's wrong with their life, just by looking at their face. Even if they didn't ask for my advice. So what if I may get it wrong sometimes, or I might have inadvertently started a family feud which might last a generation or two. You win some, you lose some.

I can also identify both the Simpson sisters. Jessica is the one who looks like a cow and was married to that gay boyband singer and Ashlee is the one who looks like a cross between Nicole Richie and Amy Winehouse and is currently married to that gay emo band singer.

Also, I once judged a book by it's cover. And I was right.

Maybe I should get one of those gigs in which I can buy nice looking stationary and get a really cool business card and tell people that I'm a "consultant". Or maybe a "freelance brain trust". Something which sounds new economy-ish and does not incite any questions.


Or maybe I should chill for a while. I've just started to think about it and I'm already tired. I think the best way to go about it would be in small steps.

It worked for Neil Armstrong, dunnit?

16 comments:

Harshita said...

haha...

When you said **Although I strongly feel that my presence is blessing enough. **, I was like "yeah! yeah!"

Too sad that a person who is so much of a giver is made to stand by a corner and watch ppl do all the wrong things when he knws whats right ;)

Lol... u r a funny person...hehe

Stray said...

The previous well-nourished, gay man I was close to, found his calling as a strip-tease artist in Vegas.

And I tip well, so u'd wanna invite me on opening night.

unsungpsalm said...

*Stray
You go to gay strip bars?

Hmm... Didn't think you were...


*Ramby
Bravo, once again!! Long awaited, and worth the wait :D

Phoenixritu said...

LOL! This is truly funny. Joined two facebook groups - the ultimate social service.

You are good

chandni said...

this is good writng.

Seriously good writing!

And pliss to know: I make notes of ALL references u make to NGOs!

:)

Pixie said...

LOL!! :)

Good post though!

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

You got to give a little, take a little...and just learn to live a little...

I think that's how the song goes. I guess I'll watch the 'Beaches' rerun again on TV to get it right!

And in the meanwhile, here's to a nice Long Island Ice Tea as you swing in that hammock of yours!

Ipshi said...

howlarious! as usual! kithe ho u? u trying to avoid me now?

Bhumika's Boudoir said...

LOLOLOL. This post reminded me so much of Jack from Will and Grace. LOLOLOL. Particularly that can't even type that with a straight face. LOL. Thank you.

Neha said...

Why Hello there my Soul Twin :D!

Thought I'd drop in (after an embarrassingly long gap) and say Helloooo!! Hehe, as usual, I feel the same way as u do! People just dont understand our worth and value! Tsk tsk..so hard to educate the ignorant..

Hehe anyway...guess whattttttttt I'm in Delhi :D...and writing about it!!

Anyway, Keep Writing Rambo!
Luv,
Neha

PS: I'm officially back!

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@Harshita: Exactly. I think I need a larger soapbox to vent. Thank you for understanding. Sweet. :P ...

@Stray: Well, don't tell anyone, but I just got my own show, "The adventures of a Fat Piranha"" ... I'll try to sneak you in .... :P ...

@USP: When did going to a gay strip bar make you gay? .... Huh? .... Thanks ....

@Ritu: Thank you .... Nothing says "I'm all about social service" like a couple of facebook groups.. :P ...

@chandni: Thanks ... and *gulp* ....

@Pixie: :) ... Thankx ...

@Mamma Mia: I broke the hammock .. :( .. I think I'll need to order a new one ...

@Ipshi: Now, why would I do that?

@Bhumika: Jack? People usually accuse me of channeling Karen. So thanks .... :P ...

@Neha: She's back!! Heloooo .... u IN DELHI? .... And yes, people just cannot seem to wrap their head valuable an asset we can be .... :P ...

Anwin said...

Hi Zanny, was wondering if you are aware of the Delhi NCR IndiBlogger Meet 2009 scheduled for the 4th of April. Would be great if you can make it and blog about the event too.

Please send in your ideas for the agenda in the comments section.

RSVP - http://www.indiblogger.in/bloggermeet.php?id=33

Cheers,
Anwin
IndiBlogger.in

flygye12 said...

when are you going to write about recession??? waiting for that post :D

DewdropDream said...

And where've you disappeared to again? You're being missed. I've seen plenty of nice boys I'd love to hook you up with btw :D

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@DDD: That's nice. Trying to tempt me with cute boys to bring me back from the dead. Cheap shot. But it worked though. :P ...

And now you will have to deliver.

DewdropDream said...

:D Har Har... never thought I'd get accused of a 'cheap shot' but, score! Get your ass to London, shall do my part then :D