This was written yesterday night. The crisis is finally over and I have been able to switch off my TV.
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I can't seem to tear myself away from the TV for the past forty eight hours. I want to look away, I want to sleep, but I can't. I just look. In horror and morbid amazement.
It's not that there haven't been terrorist attacks before. There have been. Like a lot of other people, I felt angry for a day, talked about bombing a country or two and moved on. Because that's what we are supposed to do. Move on. Human spirit is supposed to triumph over everything.
But today, as I see the Taj burning, I don't want to move on. I want to remain angry. I cannot switch off the television. I cannot bring myself to talk about anything else. I cannot even think about anything else. Everything seems so insignificant.
Today, like those innocent people killed by those miserable scums, a part of me had died too. Yet, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
I wonder why those innocent people had to die? What was their fault? Is this what our world has come to? To think that a lot of them were just there to have a meal. To celebrate a wedding. To celebrate a promotion. To toast new business partners. To get a taste of an exotic country.
Has all this what our life has come to? Having a meal is now dangerous?
What about those people whose house was taken over? Even sitting in your own house is not safe anymore?
I want to feel different. I want to feel safe. I want to talk about the frivolous side of life. I don't want to think "What the.." every time a hear a firecracker going off. I want to order new books online and then wait for them to be delivered with childlike anticipation. I want to be able to see something besides the news. I want to worry about the life of my favorite character on Brothers & Sisters. I want to keep refreshing my the frontpage of my blog to read everybody's comments with a little glee. Yet, today none of these things matter.
Maybe I will feel all those things again. Maybe, when this is over, I will finally be able to touch the power button on the remote and switch of visuals of a horrid nightmare which my mind has not still been able to process.
But I won't forget the sacrifices of the brave men and women who gave up their life so that other people could live. I will not forget the sacrifices of the general who thought it better to lead from the front than bark instructions from the back. I will not forget the bravado of ordinary men and women in the most extraordinary of circumstances.
Yet, it doesn't matter.
My heart goes out to all those who have lost their loved ones. To them, all this is words. To them, tonight, nothing matters.
Maybe now we need to wake up and do something while we can.
Otherwise, one day, we won't be able to.
Maybe, right now, even that does not matter.
10 comments:
I hear you, RWS, and I feel the same things as you. And I understand.
I might not be too vocal or sound too eloquent right now but I will, soon. This must stop.
Things are as good or as bad as one perceives them to be, RBW.
But waking up and doing one's duty is never the wrong thing to do.
I hope we all find the strength within us to do what is right by our fellow brethen, irrespective of race, gender, religion et al.
We should not forgive. We should never forget.
We should never forget the terror, the outrage, the horror, the anger and above all, the sacrifices made
We should never forget.
i feel you too whippy!
but what im more disgusted is how the politicians made it as an spectacle...
screw them all...
long live the mumbaikars...
Being a mumbaikar myself, i was very hurt with the whole terror act. With the utmost sympathy for poeple who have lost their lives, i want to make one important point. I do understand that the impact of this terror act was much much stronger, but then, why all these elite class people didnt protest against politicians in the past when mumbai as well as other cities faced so many terror attacks? And now suddnely we see all these page-3 kinda people giving bytes on TV about how they used to have breakfast, lunch, dinner here @ Taj..Oberoi...! Have they ever thought about the common man who still risks his/her life by travelling in local trains?
I am as confused as anyone else about what can I do? But yeah, i wish i was in mumbai. I could have tore apart at least one of the 'condolence' wala hoarding which has a name/picture of disgusting politician or party name side by side with the brave martyrs who sacrificed their lives for us.
@anon:
Okay .. this is one of the things wrong with the country .. whenever something happens we start the whole "us vs them" game ... A bullet does not have any nationality. A bomb does not kill members of a particular community. A terrorist does not discriminate between rich and poor...
What these people, the so called "elite", are saying is born out of continued anguish at seeing their country burn. I've heard a lot of them speak on the same issue before. They have always been dismissed by politicians and junta alike as the opinion of the "effete, page 3 celebrities".
It's the politicians who use such events to gain mileage. Now, when everyone has begun to question them, their sense of entitlement which they have been used to is being torn apart.
We do need to do something. But first, we need to stop pointing fingers at each other and unite. Then and only then will we get somewhere.
@firebolt: yes, sweetheart. This needs to stop. And we have to make it stop.
@stray: amen to that ....
@mamma mia: Yes, never forget all those lives that have been lost so that we could live ...
@pepe: thanks pepe .. yeah .. go Bombay ... politicians disgust me too ...
I really don't understand why ministers leaving their portfolios will help the situation. Such activities are not that predictable...look at the history of other attacks in every part of the world.
I see BJP-NDA winning the next elections ~
Yes, I feel the same. They say anger clouds a person's judgment but I feel nothing but anger and I really think our city does not need the spirit of moving on any longer, we need to remain angry and make our asshole of a govt take stock of the situation once and for all.
Yes, anger helps.
@prash: Instead of our ministers playing musical chairs, the government should be taking steps to protect our international boundaries ...
@still: I think if we move on from this then there will be nothing that cannot shake us anymore .. You're right .. we shouldn't be moving on .. we should channel our anger into something constructive ...
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