Saturday, September 6, 2008

My own private Idaho

So I'm not dead yet. On the outside anyway. I died on the inside a few years ago, when I found out that John Cena has a girlfriend.

Anyway, I'm away from home at this mountain retreat. Sort of needed a break. "A break from
what?" some of you may asked each other, in a hushed tone. Good question, however, history teaches us that some questions are better left unanswered. Like Who killed Peter Pan? and Why did the chicken cross he road?

So this hilly town I am in just has the basic bare necessities one needs to survive in the world. Like an alcohol bar, two espresso bars, a bookshop, a baskin robins, two pizzerias, and an out of this world bakery. It's safe to say I'm roughing it. I mean the hotel only has basic cable and no satellite TV. That's equivalent to camping in the wild or trying to climb Mt Everest.

And this place always has a strange effect on me.
It's like Bizzaro world up here. I do unusual things like walking for fun and pouring my own glass of water. I even almost smiled to someone. Also, when the reception gave me a wake up call, which I had not asked for, I actually did not beat them up within an inch of their life and did not even have Satan confisicate their souls for the next three eternities.

Another weird thing I've seen is that ugly people only mate with other ugly people and good looking people only mate with other good looking people. There are very few people who really stand out as a "What-the-fuck-is-behind-nose-no-1 and Oh-fuck-look-at-that-ass" couple.

Which is both a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing is that I might have a chance and bad thing is that he would be as ugly as me, which means I'm going to die alone, because I would certainly not date me. I have standards, ya'know.

Maybe I should look into this "wife" thing. If I am going down, I'm taking some poor, unsuspecting, soul with me. Or at the very least I will have someone to polish my shoes when other help is busy. You can never have too much help these days.

Anyyywayyy, I still like it here. The weather is nice and most of the employees at the hotel I'm staying in have the same name. In fact, it's common to almost all service employees. Everyone answers to "Excuse Me". How very thoughtful of the tourism department. That's called putting your customer first. When you don't need to know the names of people who bring your morning cuppa tea or serve you dinner. That's what keeps bringing me back here everytime. That and the fact that I can ignore almost everyone here and not give an excuse.

If only there was a Gay bar here somewhere, this would be a perfect Paradise. Even the chicken crossed the road because there was a gay bar on the other side.

14 comments:

Neha said...

Awww I love indian "hill stations"...I still dont get why they're called "hill stations" when most of them are on mountains higher than anywhere else!

I get asked that too.." break from what?"...Can't people just GET that I need time off the hustle and bustle of the city, and want to just chill elsewhere?

I'm on holiday(ish) too...and its great :D!

Prash said...

I really don't know which part of the world are you in ? Asia ? Africa ? America ? Australia ?

You really didn't know who killed Peter Pan ? It is not a secret anymore...So, I am letting it out here...Do you know somebody called Santa Claus ? It's his neighbor who murdered PP. :-)

Sometimes, a gay bar is not a real solution to such problems you know...a nice companion, ya maybe!

DewdropDream said...

I'm first going to take a wild shot and say 'Mussoorie', guessing that's where you are. Even if you'e not, play along and pretend you are as the mention and thoughts of Mussoorie are currently integral to my happiness.

Two: COuld you not pick a more grand reason to be dead on the inside?! NO replacement batteries??!! That's lame... I protest!!! We don't like to see lame here :D Try being dead for Tax reasons... a la Hotblack Desiato :D MOre to the point :D

Happy holidaying... when do you get back?

Anonymous said...

come back already1 u've been away too long!

Jiggy said...

hehehehe....seems like you are having a nice time there...
and you really like that cena guy? eeeeeks....

D said...

You forgot to add the very rudimentary internet connection to your list of essentials there!

Anonymous said...

No Really! You like John Cena? He's awesome looking but the guy has an attitude of a rabid duck! Or did you die on the inside because you were shocked that a creep like he could have a G? Hmmm...

I love the hills! I envy you.

You needed a break from your bed at home. The bed at the resort should be a good change!

Last I heard, one could catch a Broadband WiFi signal on Mt. Evt. It's still unconfirmed though.

"And this place always has a strange effect on me."
So you've visited before, eh? Many times it seems! Haha! Caught red pudgy-handed!

So the receptionist gave you that wake-up call after all? Ha ha! I thought she wouldn't buy it! My money was well-spent, I see. Pity you controlled your anger...

pepe M. said...

lemme guess...shimla? darjeeling?
well if yur in munnar, pls do drop at chennai whippy...i will be here waiting :)

Anonymous said...

hav fun....

but where are you anyway??

Anonymous said...

3 whole days without updates? A bit too much, no?

Kris Bass said...

Fuck, I had 5 days without internet. And I am starting to worry. Ramby, everything alright?

LOLz is just too repetitive!

Neha said...

Ok enough holiday now..Come backkkkkkkkk!!

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

neha: I love them too, but that's why I prefer to call them "hilly town" or "mountain retreat". I'm propah like that, sometimes :P ... I'm on holiday-ish to for the past few ____ ... !!

prash: Earth>Asia>India .. :P ... Santa Claus murdered peter pan? Why didn't someone tell me?? ... oh, a gay bar is the solution to everything, including world peace ... :) ..

ddd: Okay, I'll play along and say that it is Mussoorie. I hope you like the new reason. It was what I originally thought of anyway.

chandni: No way!! You go book shopping without me :( ...

rebel: Yeah .. I kinda am .. though I hate to admit it :P .. Yeah, I like that "cena" guy .... :P ..

d: Oh, the internet connection is mine .. thanks to the edge-gprs on my phone .. apparently, wifi is not needed for people to "get away" ...whatever that means ....

usp: Have u seen his ass? When I look at that I forget that the guy has a personality of a goal post.

And err.. I do say that I love visiting this place which does in fact imply that I have visited before and there is a slight chance of more future visits ... You should pay more attention ... So you were the one responsible for wake up call, huh? Just for that, by the power of satan, I curse you to speak in Hindi for the next three lives. Ha!

pepe: Oh, if I ever visit anywhere near chennai I wouldn't dream of coming back without meeting you .... :P ....

dk: thanks ..:P.. some hilly town ...

usp: Blame it on the boogie, i guess???

krissy: yeah, as alright as it can be ..:P ... Lolz is never too repetitive ...

neha: Awwww, I will, I will :P....

Anonymous said...

*Ramby
Oof!
Striking where it hurts, hmph? You divine Angel, you!