I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack
4:10 AM | Author: Rambunctious WhipperSnapper
Contrary to rumors floating around the blog world, I did not die and go to gay heaven (i.e. hell), although I am convinced that's the only way I'll ever get any action. My fat ass is still very much on this planet. I'm not going anywhere. At least for the next two millenia.

Also, to dispel other rumors, I did not join the cast of Weeds, the blind guy didn't see me and I certainly did not have sexual relations with that woman.

*da-da-doom-dish*

(I hope that was the right sound effect. If not, well, I'm not a fucking sound technician, so give me a break.)

However, the rumor about me having a big schlong is something that I'm neither going to confirm nor deny. Draw your own BIG conclusions. Though with my luck, you know which one it would be.

Anyways, before I humiliate myself anymore and drive away the three people who still love me, I just wanted to say a big thank you to all those who missed me. I love you all even though I do question your intelligence. (insert wicked smiley)

And to all those who did not miss me, well, sleep with one eye open tonight. There's going to be a fat guy climbing down your chimney with a big brown bag and it ain't gonna be Santa.

*cue evil laugh*

(I said I'm not a fucking sound technician. Geez.)


p.s. I wasn't away on purpose. There were some extraordinary circumstances that required my immediate attention and were the cause of my absence.
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12 Voices heard in WhipperSnapperville:

On September 24, 2008 at 5:28 AM , bloggingknight said...

Hehehe though you are not sound technician, you gave near perfect sound.
And now ma relieved tht you didn't die and go to gay heaven, and still alive :P

I missed you but tht doesn't mean i don't want to see a fat-santa-looking-guy climbing down my chimney. (I think tht would be most comic scene ever imagined as fat boy might get stuck in the middle *wicked smile*)

once again welcome back....

 
On September 24, 2008 at 7:00 AM , DewdropDream said...

I think you should go away more often. Because your come back posts are such fun!!! :D

Good you're back, now entertain us.

 
On September 24, 2008 at 8:40 AM , Prash said...

I'd rather wish you come down my chimney than the Peter Pan's murderer Santa Claus (cf: comment conversation of your previous post). LOL

I really didn't get any of those rumors, why people are not talking to me anymore or what ?

But, I thought you ended up with that woman....hahahahaha LOL you got me there ! jeez !

 
On September 24, 2008 at 11:44 AM , maxdavinci said...

kya baat hain!

was missing the regular dose of sarcasm.

good to have you back...

 
On September 24, 2008 at 7:09 PM , unsungpsalm said...

Yes, Yes... We know you're not Santa, Fat Grinch.

You question our intelligence, we, your sanity. It's a loving equation :)


Welcome back! Shan't question when-where-how-why. But POST now! And not some lame "I'm baaaccckk" post but a real genuine one defaming society and decrying its existence :)

 
On September 24, 2008 at 10:10 PM , The Line of Beauty said...

I like the extraordinary circumstances part.
Pray,what they can be in your world?

 
On September 24, 2008 at 11:08 PM , Neha said...

Yipppeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Welcome back! I Missed u Rambo!! The only excitement in my mundane life is reading ur posts!! And now that I sound pathetic enough, I'll just go and finish that Sudoku game that I was playing... :p

Nah, im going out shopping :D!! Anyway, welcome back!!!!! Now Dont dare leave again!!

 
On September 24, 2008 at 11:56 PM , D said...

Don't spoil such ridiculously funny posts by inserting such serious-sounding 'P.S.'s at the end!

And I will not sleep with my one eye open.

 
On September 25, 2008 at 1:44 AM , DewdropDream said...

Say, what's the big brown bag for?

 
On September 25, 2008 at 8:06 AM , Kris Bass said...

I. Am. So. Happy. That. You. Are. Back. Here.

Was. Missing. You. Too.

Robots. Do. Have. Feelings.

 
On September 25, 2008 at 12:35 PM , Orange said...

LOL... don't get stuck in the chimney Santa's evil twin.

Also, I don't think you'll do it, not least because you don't know where any of us live or because we don't have chimneys, but because if you did try it, you'd get your Prada all black and thats definitely nada!

(Gimme a break I'm not a fucking writer and I'm equally clueless about fashionable brands for men or women)

;)

Though I was wondering what you were upto.

 
On September 26, 2008 at 2:47 PM , Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

dk: Thanks for warning me .. I'm never going to attempt to climb down your chimney ....

ddd: Oh, if you insist ... :P ...

prash: Well, you really need to be cued into the grapevine to hear those rumors .. and most of them were spread by me anyway .... and really watcha got against good ol santa?

maxdavinci: thank you .... i was missin me too ...

usp: The question of my sanity is merely a hypothetical one. So you mean to call my posts lame?? I would've been upset but then I don't have the emotion chip installed yet.

lob: They weren't fun. In fact, I wouldn't wish them on anyone.

neha: I won't leave ever ... they would have to pry the keyboard from my cold dead hands.

d: Does that mean you didn't miss me? :( ...

ddd: Well, the brown bag contains gifts for some people and a metal object used to knock people unconscious for others.

Bot #897069867579597597: Really. That. Is. A. Shocker. Thank. You. May. your. hard. drive. increase. in. size.

orange: I'm clueless about brands too. In fact, I won't recognize you if you walk past wearing your Louis Vitton. And you have been away LONGER than me. I am still wondering what you are upto. :P ...