I'm probably going to gain more weight than I lose, for the rest of the year I'm probably going to be be feeling like that person who goes to pick someone up at the airport and waits till all the passengers depart only to find out that the person he was waiting for did not even board the plane and I'm probably going to have my last remaining hopes and dreams crushed by reality . . .
. . . but you know what?
Fuck being a jaded cynical asshole.
Fuck having zero expectations from life.
Fuck not trying to look for happiness in material things.
Fuck not trying to fill that void with alcohol and great food.
Fuck not trying to be suspicious of people who are nice to you for no reason.
Fuck trying to connect with people with whom the only things to talk about happened a decade ago.
Fuck worrying about the past or the future.
Fuck second guessing yourself.
Fuck being a curmudgeonly old pessimist.
What I mean to say is,
HAVE A GREAT FUCKING NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!