Friday, November 6, 2009

. . . One huge step for Whippersnapperkind Part 2

I never thought this day would come so soon. I had promised myself not to end 2009 without telling my Dad, but I spent most of the year ignoring that.

However, for the past month, I've had this intense feeling in the pit of my stomach (that's where my brain is I think. What can I say? I'm a medical marvel!) that I need to come out to my Dad.

This past week, I had almost come out to him but I didn't because he had some stuff going on with his sister. I thought I would wait for the right time. But, then I figured that it would never be a right time and that I would just have to bite the bullet and tell him the truth.

So day before yesterday, I decided that it was D-day. I gave my Mom a heads up, and then waited for my Dad to come home from his office.

Me: Dad, I need to talk to you.
Dad: Okay.

We head to my room.

Me: Dad, there is something important I need to tell you.
Dad: Wait, let me guess, your girlfriend's pregnant.
Me: No, Dad. I don't have a girlfriend.
Dad: So your ex-girlfriend's pregnant?
Me: No, Dad, no one's pregnant.
Dad: So you've been offered a job.
Me: No, Dad. No one's that crazy. Or that desperate.
Dad: Don't say that. There are lots of people like that out there. At least I hope.
Me: Okay, Dad I can't keep having this conversation again and again.
Me: I'm not looking for a job.
Me: Now, can we move on?
Dad: Sigh. Yeah, sure.
Me: Dad, I need to tell you something which I have been keeping secret for a long time.
Dad: Is this about that time you and your friends were almost caught by the police for being underage and drinking in your car and you bribed your way out of it?
Me: You knew about that?
Dad: Pretty much.
Dad: Your friends Dad had called me and told me about it.
Me: Uh-ok.
Dad: What do you think the great lecture of '98 was all about?
Me: Okay, so that was what you were talking about when you said that I wouldn't be able to "bribe my way out of everything and that I need to stop fooling around like that".
Dad: Yeah, what did you think I was talking about?
Me: Oh, I thought you were talking about when I tried to smuggle my mathematics answer sheet out of the classroom because I didn't know the answer to any question.
Dad: You tried to do what?
Me: Ahem. Nothing. Can we move on now?
Me: And will you please stop guessing?
Dad: Okay, what is it you want to tell me?
Me: *Silence*
Dad: Yeah, go on . . .
Me: *Silence*
Dad: If you don't speak now I'll start guessing again . . .
Me: Okay, Dad, this is not easy for me to say what I was going to say.
Dad: Did you "forget" to pay your credit card bill again, for six months?
Me: No, Dad, there is something else.
Dad: Then, do me a favour and tell me what's on your mind.
Me: Okay . . . .  Dad . . . . . . I, ummmmm, don't like, mmmmmmmmmmmm
Dad: You don't like what?
Me: Dad, I don't like girls.
Dad: What do you mean?
Dad: Do you like boys, then?
Me: Yeah, sort off.
Dad: That's sad.
Me: In what sense?
Dad: You do know this is a disease, right?
Me: What, being gay?
Dad: Yeah.
Me: What are you talking about, Dad?
Dad: Well, you should see a psychiatrist.
Me: Look, Dad, I'm not asking you for advice.
Me: It's how I was born.
Me: I could have gone my whole life without telling you and there was no way you could have found out.
Me: I'm not asking for your blessing or anything. I'm basically telling you that this is how it is.
Me: And I would expect someone as educated as you to keep an open mind.
Dad: See, I'm not forcing you to do anything. Just giving you my opinion.
Dad: It's your life, and your choice.
Me: Thanks.
Me: If you feel ashamed of me, I will move out in a few months or whenever I get a job.
Dad: You really don't need to do that.
Me: What, get a job?
Dad: No, move out.
Me: Oh, it's good that you said that. I wasn't gonna move out anyway and it would have been really awkward ...... for you.
Dad: *no reaction*
Me: So I guess we're not ready to joke about it yet.
Dad: *Gets up to leave*
Me: begin sarcastic tone\ Sorry for being such a disappointment. /end sarcastic tone
Dad: *Opens door to leave, looks back* No, there is nothing like that.
Me: *shrugs*

It wasn't as bad as I expected. He didn't shout or say anything really mean. And he was probably shocked, to say the least. But I am glad I told him. It was time. Even though I think he wishes that I rather had a pregnant girlfriend, I think it's going to be fine.

He's going to do what he usually does when I take decisions which he does not agree with (basically, ALL of them). a) Sulk b) Blame my Mom for "encouraging" me c) Fire someone in his office d) Begrudgingly get on board Team Ramby.

It took me such a long time. It's only fair I let him take his. 

Anyways, the important thing is that now, there would be no more secrets. No more half-truths. No more use of ambiguous words like "partner", "fellow-human" and "casual friend".

I guess the truth does set you free!


Although, I still am never going to tell him what really happened to his car in January 1996. That secret is going with me to the grave. Or whatever weird vegan ceremony I'm going to have when I finally log out and pass on to the big blogosphere in the sky.


Rashmi said...

I am proud of you buddy, and yeah truth does sets you free :)
Hugs n Cheers!

DewdropDream said...

That is SUPER!!!

And good on you for not chickening out :) I'm really happy for you.

Firebolt said...

It went fairly good. I'm proud of you. Here's wishing that he gets down to option d quick. Cheers! ^_^

Phoenixritu said...

I think your dad is quite a man, you know, for taking it in the chin and reacting in a mature manner. Many parents freak, I mean r e a l l y freak!

Some mental readjustments later, he'll be cool

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Man! I let out a huge sigh of relief when I came to the end of this! I can only imagine the relief that you must be feeling!

I'm so happy that you've come out to him. I also like the maturity with which you're giving him time to digest this. (Now there's a word I never thought I'd use when talking about you ;p)

But as a parent, just a teeny-tiny little piece of friendly advice...hold on to the sarcasm. Just for a while. You can be your lovable, sarcastic, witty self soon enough. Time enough for that, my friend!

There, end of lecture, you can smack me on the head with a dish-rag now and then hug me :)

Richa said...

Cool. It must be such a relief! COngratulations again!

Richa said...

Cool. It must be such a relief! COngratulations again!

lemon said...

Congrats dude! I'm extremely proud of you!

H said...

That needed balls, Hats off man!
Congratulations :)
Although now I'm tempted to know what DID happen in that car?!!? lol

Neha said...

Woohooo!! Good JOB!! Sooooo proud of ya! Yes, the truth does set you free! Its a great feeling!

Keep Writing Rambo!

Harshita said...

I am sure he will take his own time to come to terms with it.

But I know that you must be feeling really really light now. Atleast now you can urself in front of him.

:) Hope he takes it all in gud spirits.

Saadi said...


*Rachael Style*

Ur dad seems like a nice guy....i really don't think there would be ne side-effects fr u ltr!!

N yea...he seems cute too!!!

Great post!!

D said...

Well done!

Now all that remains is a job... ;)

Bhumika's Boudoir said...

Oh good. This has all the trimmings of a happily ever-after. And your dad sounds like fun. I could almost see it as a Calvin and Calvin's dad conversation. I just love the way most parents stick by their kids when the kids expect them to run in the other direction. Cheers and luck! I'm really proud of you.

Spaz Kumari said...

Please let me blogroll you. Your archives have given me a happy, laughing bellyache.

bloggingknight said...

Ohh relieved, happy RWS...

i am proud of you and hopefully your story will inspire me to be strong as well :D

UnsungPsalm said...

Post reading that post, I'm confused Ramby as to whether the second half of your chat with him is as fictional as the first? :S

I really am wondering /:-|

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@Rashmi: Awww, Lots of hugs to you too . . .

@DDD: Thanks, DDD. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't chicken out too. That's how I usually tend to handle situations!!

@Firebolt: Thanks, kiddo!! I hope he does too. I'm sure he's getting there. :D . . .

@Ritu: Well, the sort of things he has to put up with while having a son like me makes him has sort of made him immune to freaking out. But yeah, I am really appreciative that we could have a semi-mature conversation about it.

On a similar note, I've always wanted to know, how would have you reacted in a similar situation?

@Mamma Mia: Yeah, I can't even tell ya how free I have been feeling ever since I told him!! It's like a sea-change!!

And you're calling me mature? Well, I have been called many things, but that is a first. Thanks!!

@Richa: Thanks, Richa!! Yes it is. A huge relief.

@Lemon: Thanks, Lemon!

@H: Thanks!! That is a secret I'm never telling. :P . . .

@Neha: You're back!! Thanks a lot, Neha!!

@Harshita: It is a great feeling!! Now I really know what freedom is all about!! :D . . .

@Saadi: Thankee!! Yeah, I think that too!!

@D: a JOB? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME????? WHYYYY???????????? :| ...

@Bhumika: Thanks, B! Yeah, I know whatever his own reservations maybe, ultimately he is going to end up on my side!! So Yay!!

@Spaz Kumari: Thanks for blogrolling me!!

@DK: Thanks, DK!! Well, you should try it!! It's the best feeling ever!!

@USP: Yeah, it is fake, because I am so good at making up genuine feelings. How didja know?

Oh, fyi, that was sarcasm. In case you didn't notice. :P . . .

Sorcerer said...

wow!! super cool have :)

Scattered Thoughts... said...

I used to follow your posts from quite some time but never commented.. about time I guess :)

It must have been difficult to your dad but he took it rather maturely. I agree that it needed hell of courage on your part as well but I just cant stop thinking about him.

In any case you did the right thing and guess he did the right thing too.. so all the best..

Chaitra said...

Awesome....Happy for ya... even though i have no clue who you are...

I guess i'm happy for the great indian parent awakening... :)

.... glad i bumped into your blog... :)