Wednesday, April 29, 2009

This post has absolutely nothing on it's mind

Recently, the most common question that I ask everyone is "What day is it today? No, seriously". I actually do lose track of what day, date, month or even what year it is. In fact, I have been using my own personal time standard, in hours are defined by the time left until the next meal and sometimes two, or three "normal" days are clubbed together because I really don't remember them as separate entities anyway.

Not that I am to blame. It happens when one is not gainfully employed. Everyday seems like a Sunday. And not a Sunday in which you know that the next day the grind starts again. No, a Sunday which is followed by another Sunday, which is followed by another Sunday, which in turn is followed by, no prizes for guessing, another Sunday.

So, to me, the past year and a half have been like an extended weekend. (Actually, some people I know would like to call it by a different name, but this is what I've decided upon. An extended weekend. Has a nice ring to it doesn't it? Hi, I'm on an extended weekend. What? Oh, that's part of my work actually. Yes, I specialize in extending weekends. It's a inborn talent, really. No, I don't have any branches. Yet.)

However, there is one thing that even someone as clueless & as intoxicated as me can notice.

I've come to realize that people treat those who are gainfully employed and those who take extended weekends which last more than a year, a tad bit differently. I know. Outrageous, isn't it?

I vividly remember the days when I used to work. By work, I mean laughing at every stupid forward people send and exploring wikipedia for useless trivia (Did you know Mata Hari was actually not a really good spy? Yup. Surprising isn't it? There is so much useless trivia out there, and so little time. Sigh. Also, it only sounds interesting when you are being paid to do something else. Otherwise, who really cares. Pshaw!)

It turns out that a job is like an ass. Everyone seems to have them.

So when you answer the question "So, what are you doing these days?" with the ominous word "Nothing", most people react in a very predictable way.

First, comes the indignation.

"What do you mean by nothing? So you actually aren't doing anything? Nothing AT ALL? Are you crazy?!"

Then comes the surprise.

"Why? What happened? You were doing so well! Are you crazy?"

Then, the weight of the information they have been provided with begins to settle in and a pattern seems to emerge.

"So you're sitting at home? Voluntarily? Why? Are you crazy?"

Then comes the search for plausible excuses.

"Are you sick? No?"

"Are you trying to lose weight? No?"

"Are you studying? No?"

"Are you helping out your family with the business? No?"

Then comes the slight tilt of the head and the first step towards the road of acceptance.

"Awwww. Oh! I'm sure you deserve it. I remember you used to be working so hard".

"Good for you".

"I would never have the guts to do something like this".

Then come the suggestions.

"If you're not busy, you should help out your family with the business".

"If you're not busy, you should study more and add to your resume".

"If you're not busy, you should try losing weight".

"If you're not busy, you should try writing a blog".

"If you're not busy, you should help my son get his wife pregnant".

Then comes the show of fake support along with a huge effort made in trying to encapsulate the overwhelming feeling of jealousy along with a naked attempt to try to make me feel like a loser.

"So you're staying home for the past year doing nothing? So you're doing NOTHING? How do you pass your day?"

"I would go bananas if I had to spend even a day doing nothing! Haha! How do you do it?"

"Aren't you yearning to go back to work?"

"You would have been an ________ by now if you hadn't left your job!"

"What's a blog?"

Then comes what I lovingly call the insane reasoning portion of the evening.

"This is not an age to take a break at. One should only take a break when one's sixty".

"Don't you want to get married?"

"You have to do something. Everyone does something or the other. You can't just sit at home".

"Don't you want to get married and give your parents a few grandchildren to play with?"

"You'll start losing the use of your mental faculties if you keep doing nothing for a long period of time. Stop laughing. It's true. I've seen it happen".

"No one does what they really want to do. So go back to work and get married. It's high time you got settled".

That sums up the conversation with 95% of the people.

One of the things about being jobless is that the "different" treatment you get from people. Suddenly, people find it really awkward to talk to me. And my opinion just does not hold the same value for them as it used to before. People really don't know how to start a conversation with me anymore. And there are so many topics they try to steer clear from. Things they presume that I would get offended by.

We are so used to identifying and associating people with what kind of work they do that it's really hard for us to look beyond that. Even when we introduce ourselves to other people, in most cases, the first thing that really comes out after our names is our occupation or whatever we do for a living. Because even personally, that's our yardstick for defining who we are. I used to do that too. But my "extended weekend" has made me realize that whatever job or line of work you do doesn't have to define who you are. We are so obsessed with titles, positions, the whole concept of "making a name for yourself" that we let it take over our lives. People define success not by how happy they are but by how many weekends they spend replying to work emails on their blackberry. It's in trying to "be somebody" that we lose track of who we really are. I know that because I did.

I'm not trying to knock anyone here. As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I, for one, love being treated like a pariah. A few of my friends and some assorted family friends have tried to "turn me around" and "talk some sense into me" but most of the time, they end up projecting. It's funny how the same people who used to tell my parents that they were "so proud" of me, now avoid me like the bubonic plague, even using me as an example of explaining to their children on how not to do things. The general consensus seems to be that I've lost it and that this is more evidence that I am a "spoiled" brat. Well, not that there is anything wrong with that. However, as always, I'm too drunk too care. I don't give a flying f@ck about what these people think anyway!

Yeah, almost everyone treats me differently. Even God. He answers all my prayers with "I'll get to you in a minute, asshole". To be fair, all of my prayers revolve around food and sex. And I guess God thinks that you can only have one of them at a time.

*Chomp Chomp*

Is he trying to tell me something?


Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm glad you finally wrote a post with some substance...

What's your opinion on traveling? To places where you can sit and do nothing. That's what people usually take time off for. You might just enjoy it, lazing in different surroundings.

DewdropDream said...

@USP: He does that too...

What I'd like to see is a travelogue sort of thing here.

RWS, I'm feeling a little affectionate today, *hug*

pepe M. said...

i went home and did absolutley NOTHING...and i got bored...i think what yu need is a hard kick in the ass :) so yu start moving...

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Well, as long as you're still hving fun, make mine a double!

Neha said...


What're you? My conscience? My stream of thought? My ego? You speak my mind duuuuuude!!!!

I'm still in Delhi...and just to escape the shocked looks when I tell people i'm doing nothing (gasp gasp)...have gone back to the grind of preparing for entrance exams, to study further. I guess i'm not as mentally strong as you do just get away with not doing anything!! More power to u!

When on the topic of Delhi, are not DYING of the heat??? I feel like living inside an air-conditioner!!

Anyway...I'm baaaaaack ...again :p!! Will try to stick around...I dont know how u manage to be so regular...I just can't seem to find the time in this crazy (lovely) city!!! DELHI ROCKS!

Keep Writing Rambolicious!

The Line of Beauty said...

lol..hooking on to wiki while at work is totally my thing..and i never do it in my spare time..

speaking of myself, I have attention deficit disprder and I get bored very easily, so need to do some thing all the time which can mean finishing up the entire chocolate cake alone at 2 AM

write more frequently, after all someone suggested this as a 'hobby'!!

Stray said...

[Clears his throat, which is absolutely choked with emotion upon reading this entry, and gently hollers]: If you're not too busy, cud you get off your arse some time soon and put that brilliant mind to work? My generations to come are relying on the money you're supposed to rake in.

And NO, eating and fornicating do not qualify as work, unless you're gonna star in multiple gay porn movies where the kink revolves around food.

Firebolt said...

Weird Straight Girl: Hi!

Me (without looking up from my cellphone twitter screen): 'Lo.

Weird Straight Girl: What are you doing? (a nanosecond's pause) Have you done the chemistry homework?

Me: Nothing. And no.

Weird Straight Girl: Why do you remain glued to your phone all day? (a nanosecond's pause) Do you know the answer to question 56 b?

Me: None of your business. And no.

Weird Straight Girl: What are you doing?

Me: Nothing.

Weird Straight Girl: Tell me no.

Me (fed up): I'm watching some hardcore BDSM where a leather clad dominatrix is flogging the hell out of the sub who is tied to a table with her nipples clamped, mouth gagged and hair pulled back. Hopefully they will proceed to slashing each other with knives, bleed profusely all over the sheets. Wanna join?

Weird Straight Girl: *Shocked. Moves to another seat of the far end of the row.*

Firebolt said...

Forgive me for that irrelevant comment. I'm high on caffein.

Harshita said...

"It's in trying to "be somebody" that we lose track of who we really are. I know that because I did"- That's whole lot of Gyaan from THE guru himself.

I wonder why job,money and organization is yardstick we use to judge people... I wud not try to be a saint here and say "Naah! I never do that"... Bloody people... they pass on this infectious disease to everyone and they did pass it to me too... but after years of slogging and trying to be someone that I am not, I give a damn abt all this.

How abt some travel by the way?? It is pure fun... try it (Ah! me throwing suggestions in ur direction...Pardon

Do what you love to do.. but never stop blogging... we adore ur blog... Have fun!!

Harshita said...


U shocked with that one but then I read it for the second time and laughed!! LOL

Anonymous said...

Well to each his own! :D
Hope you are having a fab time doing 'nothing'! Don't let those nosy aunties get yo you!!! :D

Basically Blah said...

Ah, yes, I hear ya too. Funnily enough, it is the "gainfully employed" type who seem painfully jobless enough to point fingers at/pointlessly advise/ridicule the happily and voluntarily jobless.

Pesto Sauce said...

Good that you are immune to all the crap & not slave of any opinion

Preeti Sharma said...

I'm sure you've also got the "fine, do what you want, it's your life after all" talk from family who are actually dying for you to do exactly what they suggest. As you might have discovered, doing nothing is a different kind of hard work!

chandni said...

People basically need a life.

Since they don't have one, they resort to the second best option...commenting on others' lives.

The sad part is how economics make the world go round. If u aren't making money or are on a break, you're good for nothing. Homemakers suffer for the same reason.

basically, the poin it, we're fine. We're rocking in fcat. we need to meet up and get drunk. Just to keep things in perspective :)

Bhumika's Boudoir said...

You quit your job and ergo all this. I'm working (it pays till the next lay off, yes, for the little that I do) and still it's ergo all this. And I'm really tired of the way I have absolutely nothing on my mind anymore. No, not even the dialogues from Absolutely Fabulous. So thank you for the post.

Prash said...

It turns out that a job is like an ass. Everyone seems to have really think so ? which World are you living in ? I was talking about everybody having a job and not "ass" lol

Prash said...

Past looks short and Future looks long... we only have the present, but wait a second, what is present, by the time I am talking the present, it has already become past...

Anonymous said...

Same thoughts.Exactly. So now I tell people " i am freelancing." For what,where etc..well at this apart I start getting vague

Rashmi said...

Heyyyy! inch pinch, i too am doing NOTHING these days, and trust me it isin't as bad as it's been made out to be, btw the post was awesome, hillarious. Emotions expressed here were rightfully conducive to the surroundings they have stemmed from :)).Also i've added to my blogroll.

Stray said...

Bring out the party hats!! Someone took his lazy butt out for lunch and ended up voting !!! :))))

You stood up when your country called out to you, sonny boy! :D

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@USP: So you mean to say that my other posts lacked substance? Hmm, interesting. Traveling? Sounds a little too hectic.

@DDD: A travelogue? Are you sure you got the right blogger, ma'am? .. :P ....

@Pepe: You did not enjoy doing nothing? How obsessed with work ARE you?

@MMMM: You mean a double espresso, don't you? ... :P ...

@Neha: Ahh!! She's back. We're like two globs of fat separated before being born!! Yes, the Delhi heat is slowly killing me. In fact, my family have already prevented me two or three times from going to live inside the A.C. :P ... Be regular, y'hear?

@LoB: Oh, I don't get distracted while having a chocolate cake ... and pretty mean of you to finish yours and not even offer me some .... :P ...

@Stray: And here I thought I would be marrying you for money! How about food porn? Does that work?

@Firebolt: I loved it! More comments like this, please!

@Harshita: Hehe .. thanks ... No, no .. no "gyaan" from me. I am against giving gyaan!! ... :P ...

@Ki: Not just aunties, a lot of uncles too!!

@Basically Blah: Yeah! Exactly!! ....

@Pesto Sauce: Hehe .. thanks!

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@Preeti: Yes, I missed to point that out!! You are absolutely right! Being jobless is harder than being gainfully employed!

@chandni: You always know what to say ... :P ...

@Bhumika: You don't remember dialogues from Ab Fab? That situation needs to be tended to immediately! Just think, what would Patsy do?

@Prash: Well, at least it seems like everyone has a job. Some people work at being a pain in the ass and they do it for free!! :P ...

@lostonthestreet: That's a good way to shut them up too!!

@Rashmi: So you know what I'm going through!! Hehe! Thanks for adding me!!

@Stray: Well, I hope I did the right thing! No thanks to you, mister!

Prash said...

I am a freebee :-) lol

DewdropDream said...

Oh cmon! Who says you need to travel to write a travelogue? :D It could be completely fictitious... and seeing as how you retreat to a top secret location for breaks, I think it's a super idea ;)

Rambunctious WhipperSnapper said...

@Prash: I didn't mean you, silly!! :P ... and ur not ...

@DDD: I can write pages and pages about that top secret location, though ... and I have loads of pictures of that place ... But wouldn't it give away my secret identity? .. :P ...

DewdropDream said...

I said 'fiction' ... how hard can that be? :D