wc1: "Haha" .. "That was so gay"
me: So?
wc1: That was gay ...
me: SOOOOOOO?
wc1: Dude ... I said that was gay ......
me: And your point is ...... ?
So I had this insane conversation with a former work colleague (the one mentioned in this post). And as it usually happens with me, right after this silly conversation I had an epiphany.
I realised that for me, being gay has now become part of my personality (whatever little I have). It's become a non-issue. To me it is now as much a part of me like the hair on my head or the color of my eyes. It's not something that is on my mind a lot these days. Somedays I find that I'm reminding myself "Hey, You're Gay!!".
It seems that the the anguish over being gay that I was going through over the past few years has gone. While I still am trying to figure out a few things but as far as being gay is concerned, I'm ready to rumble.
So the things I used get torchered thinking about earlier now seem so natural, like a part of the flow of life. Even though i still have miles to go, like Neo from the Matrix, at least I'm sure about the door I need to open.
(Note: Please let me know if you got what I'm talking about. Cause I didn't. Thanks.)
Like when I picture myself in the future I don't imagine a house with a trophy wife and three kids running around or being estranged from everybody, but what I imagine is growing old with a cute guy [whose remained cute while I have grown fat and bald ..eeek no ...I'd rather die ... so just fat ... or not .. just forget it ..let's move on y'all...] living in a house which has it's own private beach being served alcoholic beverages while we relax and talk about politics, books, music, sex and how our straight friends are still attending to their children.
*Snaps out of dream*
The moral of the story is that the WhipperSnapper is actually at peace with the gay universe (gaverse? unigay?? whatever). Who wuda thunk it?
11 comments:
you do read my post....do you? (i remind myself of Ross! LOL). THAT's gonna make me ever so more self conscious (i can never spell that right) in future ! Thanx for ur support. :-) if sometimes u venture back, i replied ur comment with a questions :-)
It is soooo interesting reading this blog.. and your thoughts. On one level, it reminds me (very dimly) of what I (must have)/had gone through some years back... and here I am, being gay, totally loving it, and not imagining any other way at all... On another level, the nerdy scholar in me perks up, seeing how the Indian/South Asian and the cosmopolite and the gay identity all coalesce/swarm/spread together in this blog. :)
good on ya!
yeah dream are unlimited and its great you know what you want in your life....
i really really wish your dreams come true...
:)
hahahha!
you are one hell hilarious guy!
am sure yu gonna find that 'dream guy' RW!
Rw, pls do the meme for me plssssssssssssssssssss? go read the instruction in my blog ;)
mwah!
flygye12: yes, you do sound like Ross, which is always a plus on this blog. :P ... and i replied to your questions on your blog ....
ct: OMFG!! Wow CT!! I don't even understand what you mean but I am so touched .. (in a completely scholarly way) .... :P
chandni: thank yee ... :P ... and we really need to fix that appointment ...
dark knight: thank you ... ure so sweet kiddo .... :D ....
pepe: thank ya ... and mwah ..(i'm new at mwahing ..) .... i 'ope im as lucky as you ... :P .... and u ask so nicely to do the meme that i can't even make a face abt it ... :D ...
good stuff. but dude... that was gay. ha ha.
Gay?? Who Me??? ... Beer, Girls, Boobs, Hummer
... I think I've answered your question ...
:P :P ...
Im sorta glued now...i'm on ur blog for the first time and can't stop reading!
Glad to have come across it!! And happy for you that u're so open and comfortable with yourself :). Good going!
Keep Writing!
Neha
Thanks for writing this.
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