My work here is done

So we were expecting a few (or a few dozen, I didn't pay much attention) people for dinner at our humble abode we call home. As our kitchen was temporarily short staffed due to one of our support staff/household help (whatever... I hate the term servants, sounds so 1884) running away (possibly a consequence of some of my actions, but we'll let that be for now), other members of my family were dividing a few tasks between themselves.

And as always, being the shining light onto the world that I am, I decided to volunteer my services to help them (because I felt a bit Christmas-sy, not because I had any guilt. Why would you think that? Geez.)

Right.

Apparently my family thought I was joking. Not that I blame them. So after a few minutes, after the loud laughter subsided, they continued their conversation, ignoring my expert advice.

Afterwards, when everyone went their way, sensing my opportunity, I went to the only person in the whole world who'll endorse my candidacy for President, my Mom. Then the following conversation ensued:

Me: So, Mom i wanna help out . . .
Mom: .. that joke is getting old, now ....
Me: No, seriously
Mom: Ok.... If you really want to help, just get ready on time ...
Me: Sure, I'll do that .. that's reasonable ...
Mom: And by on time I mean before the guests are scheduled to arrive, not when half the evening is over ....
Me: .... Ok, That's a little too much but do-able ....
Mom: And then come out of your room and say HI to them ....
Me: (*rolling eyes*, *shrugs*, *throws hands in the air*) Fine .... if you insist ....
Me: But seriously Mom, I wanna help ... anything I can do ...
Mom: No .. it's ok .... thanks ... it's the thought that counts ...
Me: Mom, please ..... I promise it It won't affect the once-in-six-months-schedule
....
Mom: Ok ... Ok .... Let's see .... if you really want to do something .......
Me: Yeah ....
Mom: Don't call the household help to do small tasks like fetching your shoes from YOUR cupboard ... or getting a can of Diet Coke from the refrigerator .... until the last of the guests have left ...
Me: WHAT? ... *gasp* *gasp* That is blasphemous .....it curtails my fundamental rights guaranteed under the constitution ..... it's forcing me to do something which is not only difficult but quite impossible ....
Me: *regaining composure* *tones down crazy* ... However, If that helps ....
Mom: Yes, it does ......
Me: Ok ..... that is asking too much .... but in the spirit of helping, I will not ask them to do such errr...ummm.... ahem .... *cough* small *cough* tasks....
Mom: Thank you .....
Me: Well, I'm just glad I could help out . . .
Mom: Yes, I don't know what I would have done without your help, son ....

Touché.


You know, sometimes, Mothers say the darnest things!!

For all those naysayers who doubted the degree and extent of my laziness . . . the defense rests. Metaphorically and physically.