So to say that I'm having a bad week electronic wise would be an understatement. As always, such events led to more questions:
Is this a coincidence? Why does everything I touch turn into a pile of unusable crap? Should I call people I don't like and use my powers to spoil their stuff? How will I call them? Is this limited to electronics? Will this effect other things I touch?
*VERY ALARMED*
... Let me check ... Okay uummmmmm .... That guy Saviola'a nice .....Wait ...wait for it ... yeah ... We're good here ...all systems go .......Whew!! Electric items only ........Scared the crap out of me. Typical male, right? Why does everything revolve around sex?
What's wrong with always thinking about sex? that's lesbian propaganda ... you ... idiot ... By the way ..Stop thinking about Saviola!!
Of course, he's so hot, how can you not think of him?? Stupid question. ........ NO... Focus, focus. Why is it so dark in here? WHAT HAPPENED? ... Switch on the lights first, jackass! Ok. Does that mean I have to get up? Crap. Damn. Double Damn. WTF do you mean double damn? What are you, a kid on Full House ... or a character from the 60's batman series? .... STFU and walk slowly now. You don't want to bump into anything and break it.
What's that thing near your feet? IT'S BREATHING!!! ....NOW IT'S LICKING YOUR FEET ........ JESUS CHRIST ...WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK..... Oh ..wait ..... it's just the dog ...Whew!! The lights stupid ....Get the lights .... hey look what the dog is doing...... funny mutt ...hehe ...Now... what did I have to do now ? ... Gawd!! ... my short attention span... Gawd!! ...didn't i just say that .....whatever..... I need to hire an assistant .... A hot assistant who looks like Saviola ..... Will you stop with the whole Saviola thing .... there are other things in life too .... Like what? ..... Well, there's Brian Kendrick .....and Mario Lopez ...... yeah i know .....now what did i get up for .....did I have lunch yet?? .... ...
See how much I love you guys? Who else would be
Now, what were we talking about again? Damn, did I mention I have a short attention span?
26 comments:
No, but you mentioned a dog.
What breed is it?
it's a pomerian ...... the stereotypical Indian dog .... :P ...
yuck..out of all things its a pom. I HATE them
Their bark is really annoying!
God BLESS you Chandni, I didn't want to be the first to say it!!!
Well, a conversation with oneself are undoubtedly far more interesting (read embarrassing) than a conversation with anyone else. Do keep it up!
I know . . . I hate them too . . . not my choice ...they are my brother's pets ... if it were up 2 me, i wudn't have pets at all ... too much work ...
and fyi, i embarrass myself when I have a conversation with anyone else ...
Yes, I'm sure you do. [/sarcasm]
Really, I despise people who undersell themselves, but YOU deserve an award.
As for NO pets at all, that's a ghastly thought. Labs, Dash~nds, Dalmatians, Golden Ret~s, Mongrels... They're absolutely delightful company!
ADOPT A STRAY!!!
No, I don't undersell myself. Anyone with half a mind can come up with half-baked stuff I write. Remember, real life does not have delete or backspace.
Does that mean you despise me? *heartbroken*
Also, my house has more pets than people at the moment. So no thank you. And please, I can never manage a pet on my own. It's too much work. And as you know by now, we really want to get by with minimum effort.
Get by with Minimum Effort? You appear to invest more effort in thinking on how to cut down your work, than you do on breathing!
Which makes me wonder what plans you have for retirement. Alone.
More pets than humans? Interesting! Pray, tell what all!
Well, I don't plan to retire alone. Not at all. Even if I do grow old.
And thankfully nature made our bodies independent enough to breathe on their own otherwise it would have been so tiresome.
See my story is like the boy who went on a holiday from work and never came back . . . :P . . .
Real life does not have delete and backspace.
Profoundly obvious and obvsiously profound.
Is it a real Pom? Too many ppl have fake poms. They just call them Poms. I think. :P
And who the hell even cares for poms. Labradors/ retrievers - now those are different.
Cheers.
and while we are on things other than your blog entry...
are you really in India? Far too many times I have been deluded into thinking you are in the US. What with all the american references and following the american elections.
Oh, a deceptive one, is he?
Maybe he's not even fat OR gay, the cheat!
That's enough there, Rambunctions WhoopyScooby! Reveal yourself!
ummm... so.. who's savioli now?
lol. o and thanks for the lovely sentiment earlier: i wud LUVVV to have my own sex advice column in the New Yorker!!!! know any bald editors i hafta blow? :)
orange, unsunghero, you guys got me. I am a white, straight all-american jock pretending to be gay to get my ya-ya's from you yo-yo's. :P . . .
You guys have blown my cover!! Yikes!!
and orange, i don't care for any pets. Nothing personal, just too much work! And I am a pop-culture freak. remeba, the whole gay seth cohen thing? :P ...
ct, saviola is an Argentinian football player and he is F-I-N-E. And you'll do really well in the publishing industry. You already know how to suck up. (Hehe ... I make funny)
Oh screw you. What are you doing with a pom in america? You should be driving a blue prius with a chihuahua and wearing a baby pink tie to work.
ah the drama :P
@RMWS
Question. Do you follow football?
The mere thought is ghastly, associated with you. How could you watch so many people run back and forth so much?
running in circles, yes, we need the drama, we can't live without the drama :P ...
and unsunghero, Have you even seen SAVIOLA? But for the record, I don't WATCH much football, just Saviola ... :P ...
Gawd, I am SO gay .....
WHAT? You're GAY??
OMFG!
Fucking Homo! :@
Knock Knock! Mind if I barge in?? Just wanted to let you know that only you can come up with something so hilarious out of nothing. So thanks for the laughs! Say my hi to all your voices. :D
OK dudes continue your chit chats! :P
unsunghero, yes, we're here .. we're queer .. get used to it ... you boobs (ugh) lovin straighty .....
samuel, always welcome to barge in .... we promote free speech on this blog .. :P ...
and thanks .. we bask in the glory of the undeserved praise you always shower on us .... :P ...
Hey there!!
Chanced upon ur blog for the first time...and nearly died laughing! I can so relate to the random thoughts to urself..leading to nothing :p!
Hilarious writing!
Keep it up!
Neha
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