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Although by now we all are familiar with Proposition 8 and our stand on it, there are other lesser known propositions on the ballot which do not garner the same attention.

Proposition No, Hoff, No - This proposition makes it illegal for David Hasselhoff to appear in public without his shirt ever again.

Proposition 90210 - This proposition prohibits any further remakes of series originally broadcast in the last century.

Proposition Palin - This proposition requires a that a person nominated for the vice president of the United States be at least smarter than a fifth grader.

Proposition Can we talk about something else now - This proposition requires the people of the United States of America to recognize that it should not take two years for an election. It's not that you can't do short elections. American Idol, anyone? A sub-note of this proposition requires certain bloggers to stop making stupid election jokes in their posts and try to do something a little more constructive with their lives.

Proposition Blubber - This proposition requires people around the world to recognize that double chins and fat stomachs are sexy too. It also requires hot, six pack surfer hunks to date at least three fat people per year. In fact, usually, I am very careful about espousing my opinion, however, I put all my weight behind this initiative.

Proposition Shave that mustache, woman - This proposition requires women to keep their facial hair out of public purview cause ewwww. Unless of course you're a bearded lady at a gypsy fair.

Proposition People who wear magic underwear cannot make rules for other people - This proposition recognizes that it's hard to take people seriously when they beleive in the story of the serpent and the poisoned apple. Instead of spending all that money to prevent two guys from doin' it, get some help for your neurological disorder you call a religion. You know the last guy who interpreted the Bible to mean that certain people do not deserve equal rights? He was called Hitler. And we all know how well that turned out.

California, you little slut, put the weed down for a minute and say NO to proposition 8

Listen up, California. You really want to do this? Stop gay people from getting married? For what reason? To protect your marriage? Really? And can you please tell me again how two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their life together harms your marriage?

Unless, you and your wife are huge closet cases.

Oh, honey, then you don't need a ban on gay marriage, you need a fucking shrink.

Now, let's face it. You actually want to ban gay marriage because you're scared. C'mon. You can tell me. It's because you fear that if those promiscuous fags can make it work and you end up in divorce court and lose everything you own, your self confidence might take a little dip to the south side. Just like John McCain's poll numbers. And then you would be forced to recognize that the only threat to your marriage is YOU and viagra.

Or it's because of that medieval book rumored to be ghost written by God?

See, it's okay to believe in such fairytales. We all need some crap to believe in so that we don't pee in our pants everytime the wind gets a little strong the it seems like you're on the set of Deep Impact. But just because you believe that the earth is flat does not mean that other people have to marinate in the pool of your ignorance.

It's okay to practice your ignorance in the safety of your own home/trailer/make-shift box like structure. Even if it means wearing that magic underwear like those freaky mormons or live a flintstone-themed life like the Amish.

Look, Sparky. Let me level with ya. I don't beleive in marriage either. Straight/Gay/Brangellina. If God wanted human beings to spend all their life with one person, he would have made everybody look ugly. He didn't. Ergo.

Anyway, the fight for gay marriage is not just about being recognized as a couple. It's about having the right to visit your partner who is in coma because of some weird kama sutric position you were trying to spice up your monogamous (ughh) life. Or being able to file joint tax returns to sock it to the man. Ye-ah, baby. Or being able to adopt a child together (God knows why).

It's even legal to get hitched with the guy sticking a pole up your arse in the land of the Queen. You see, the British part their stiff lips to blow each other every now and then. So chill the fuck out and say no to proposition 8.

Otherwise, the terrorists win.