Fun fact for today: Gay men are not accesories

Now, some of you already know this, by virtue of being Gay men or by having a slightly more evolved brain than the common house rat. However, some people seem not to be aware of this fact.

This article in Outlook which defines the relationships between gay men and straight women as "the need for straight women to have a man to take along shopping because their husbands and boyfriends refuse to do so".

It's such a stereotypical article, right down to the picture of a token gay writer and his female friend.

Here is a newsflash for the reject Dostana script writers Outlook calls staff reporters: Gay men are not something you carry around like a handbag made of alligator skin. We're not all about , "differentiating between forty different shades of brown" as you say. I only know one person who can do that, and even he can only tell the difference between a maximum of three different shades of brown. (Am I right, Pepe?).

Also, I can't speak for other people, but me and my hag have a friendship based on something much deeper than some superficial reason. We're friends because both of us are more intelligent and much better suited to run the world than other, lesser mortals. And both of us hate shopping like it's the plague. Although, our collective book collections could fill an Olympic sized stadium. And before you go out on a limb, ask us, and end up wetting yourself, we don't lend. Nothing personal, we're just very cheap and uptight.

Also, from what I know, even Will & Grace, which seems to be your source of knowledge about the gay universe, have a much deeper relationship than the convoluted logic that "a gay friend also keeps women safe from other predatory males". Excuse me, these women live in India. Even the secret service couldn't keep them away from "predatory males" (aka husbands).

And FYI, the only gay people who get girl talk are a special interest group.


They are called Lesbians.

--Tada--


Now please excuse me while I search for a lonely, fat, straight woman who looks at issues through the same "emotional eyeglasses". Cause, those big, large eyeglasses are just so 2007.

The one in which we further the "homosexual agenda"

There are those when you get up and you have that feeling that it's going to be a really, really long day?

And even though you wake up at 2.30 in the afternoon, you have this feeling of impending doom. You know it's some festival but you don't remember which exactly? And after having your coffee you realize that you actually promised your sister an actual gift this time around for rakhi instead of handing her some cash and saying "Dude, get yourself sumthing nice." Then you remember that you didn't get her anything but you know she's gonna forgive you when you go sniff sniff and tell her that you have a "bad cold-d". And she knows how lazy you are. She's probably expecting it. So why to shock & awe her?

But that's not why it's going to be a long day. Or a long post. It's because people are coming over. People with kids. Kids of people who I am supposed to be related too. Which is scary. In both ways.

I mean cousins and relatives are kind of funny. I mean people you meet once or twice a year. I, as a rule, don''t bother with their names or occupation because I mostly just say a simple and effective Hi or nod my head to them anyway. The point I'm trying to make is that it's strange that people you are so unfamiliar with act like they're your best friend. Which is kinda stupid but the whole concept of "relatives" is kinda stupid. So I guess it goes with the territory.

Anyways, so this women (cousin? cousin's wife? avon lady??) suddenly decides to take it upon herself to talk some "sense" into me about marriage. Though almost everybody in the room cautions her against it. There have been great men and women who tried to argue with the whippersnapper but alas everything they said or did came to nought. So this women thought that she could change the course of history and change my opinion about something.

So she started her monologue about marriage and she said the usual stuff like you need to further the human race by having more children and that according to her I should now bring in someone take "care" of my parents. Yes, exactly. Like there aren't already enough children in the world and like my family needs a maid or something.

And then I realized, that like most people, she really doesn't know what she's talking about. That she doesn't get it.

I mean isn't mariage supposed to be about two people who love each other and want to spend their lives together. Not because they want to further their clan or get someone to cook & clean. Just like those idiots who accuse the proponents of Gay marriage as trying to further the homosexual agenda (can anybody memo me on this please?) their marriage is based on the wrong principles.

I mean if this is their definition of marriage, then I really don't want any part of it. I'd rather have a "commitment ceremony" or whatever other kinds of crappy names we can come up with.

Not that I woudn't call two people who would want to spend the rest of their lives together lazy and a little bit dellusional, but in a cute way. Cute like having a double chin.


p.s. We have a double chin. So cracks about double chins will not be appreciated. Well, unless they are funny. We'll laugh at anything, really.

The missed kiss chronicles Part 1

Trust me to have a dramatic name for almost every post. Over the recent past I have noticed that gay kisses are being censored on Indian television. They used to be shown earlier but somehow, they are censored nowadays. Now, I am no activist, nor do I usually do this on my blog, but just to make a point, here are a few gay kisses that were censored on Indian television. Now, these are the only ones I could find yet, thus this is part 1.

Brothers & Sisters:








Desperate Housewives:





Broken Hearts Club:



Dawson's Creek:


You can't stop us from watching them people. We're here, we're queer, get used to it.